Chapter 2: Those Crackerf#$^!ing Ants!
Dayn: Well, it appears I landed ironically on a potion of healing that brought my HP up to non-dying levels, while actually being what punctured my spleen in the first place. I still think they should hire some janitors for this place.
Kobold: RAWR!
Dayn: Oh crap, a dog-like... thing. That is apparently out for blood. Er, nice kobold?
Kobold: *charges*
Dayn: Dang. Okay, it's FIGHTER TIME! *shwing* *ka-defensive stance*
*one long and exhausting battle later*
Kobold: RAR!!
Dayn: Okay, I think I nicked him on the wrist and he might be bleeding slightly from it. And he only pulverized my shield into metal fragments and disarmed me twice. Heh, I'm getting better, right? Right?
Kobold: *swipes at Dayn, slashes him across the cheek*
Dayn: ... oh, you did NOT just do that. MY APPEARANCE SCORE!! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!!
*KA-FLURRY OF ATTACKS*
Dayn: *pant* *pant*
Kobold: Bowr?
Dayn: ... oh, I've been... attacking the wall. Er... gotta work on my aim while in berserker bloodlust frenzy mode. I guess.
Kobold: BARK!
Dayn: Okay, whatever. HAVE AT YOU! *throws a large ration at the kobold*
Kobold: *CRACK* *THUD*
Dayn: ...................... did I just do what I think I did?
*Kobold is laying on the ground, still twitching, neck broken with the large ration next to him*
Dayn: Whoa, those things' weight is useful for something! Who woulda guessed? Now, to continue my quest for the lost puppy... *picks up large ration and moves forward*
*one minute later*
Dayn: Whoa, hey, a pool. A creamy, milky... pool. On the ground. Errr...
Dayn: Suffice it to say I don't think I'll be drinking from this one. After all, kobolds can get kinda lonely down here, and I'm nooooot really up to risking that it's... ergh. Dammit, I'm getting the jibblies, I'm out of here.
*Dayn runs out, running straight into the chest of an orc scorcher*
Dayn: ... *looks up* .... ohhhhhh. Er. Sorry.
*GIGANTIC SMOKE-FILLED BATTLEZOR*
Dayn: Woot, I defeated him!
Orc Scorcher: ... actually, that was... a rat.
Dayn: ... goddamn aim.
*ANOTHER GIGANTIC SMOKE-FILLED BATTLEZOR*
*Current HP: 3/26*
Dayn: Craaaaaaaaap... this isn't gonna turn out well...
???: MAGIC MISSILE!
*Orc Scorcher is fried by the Magic Missile*
*The bolt bounces and hits the wizard who cast it*
???: X_x I gotta be more careful with that aim...
Dayn: Pardon my rudeness but WHO IN THE BLUE MONKEY FIGHTING WIZARDRY HELL ARE YOU?!!
???: I am Travis, The wizard. And you would be...
Dayn: Dayn.
Travis: Dane? WTF? O_o
Dayn: NO, DAYN! *whap*
*Travis falls unconcious*
Dayn: .... <_< >_> <_< >_> *shuffles away*
*one dungeon-level-decendance later*
*Dayn's Current Level: 3 HP: 28/49*
Dayn: Now that was... again, odd. Hm, wait, what's that... do I hear clicking sounds? Eh, well, it's probably nothing.
*Dayn moves off*
Dayn: Dammit, where's the down staircase for this place? I've searched half the level, and I'm hearing more clicking sounds... it's creeping me out.
Giant Ant Worker: *clickedy*
Dayn: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GIANT ANT!! GIANT ANT!!
*Dayn unleashes a flurry of strikes agains the Ant, which all rather comically bounce off*
G.A.W.: *quizzical look* Skree?
Dayn: GODDAMMIT, DIE!! *tinktinktinktink*
G.A.W.: *pokes Dayn, he goes flying across the room and lands in a heap against the opposite wall*
Dayn: It... is... ON!
G.A.W.: *hissss*
Dayn: *TINKTINKTINKTINK* DIE YOU DAMNED BROWN ANT THING!!
*another ant comes up*
G.A.W 2: Squee?
G.A.W: Clickedy skree!
G.A.W 2: HISSSSS!!
Dayn: OH CRAP, IT'S GOT A FRIEND!!
*G.A.W's sieze Dayn and start to play a game of catch with him*
Dayn: OW! OW! OW! OW! AAAAAAAAGHHH!! Okay, I've only got one chance at this... *grabs large ration*
G.A.Worker: Skree?!
Dayn: *readies ration as he flies towards G.A.Worker 1* HEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH!! *ka-BASH*
G.A.Worker: X_x *skull has been bashed in by large ration*
G.A.Worker2: SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! \_/
Dayn: HA! *throws large ration, ant eats it* ... crap.
G.A.Worker2: *burp* Hissss!
*more ants surround dayn including: G.A.Workers 3 and 4 and G.A.Warriors 1-7*
Dayn: Holy crap... er... nice ants? I really don't want to hurt you and your.. big... giant... orange warrior... guys... who look like they could tear me apart easily...
*all the ants hiss*
Dayn: Hey, look over there!
*ants do so*
*bullet ricochet noise*
Ants: Skre?
*ants turn around to find that Dayn isn't there, instead having run into more giant ant warriors on the way out.*
Dayn: I'm really starting to hate ants with every fiber of my being, and I MEAN that. DIE YOU STUPID ANT WARRIOR!! *TINKTINKTINKTINKTINK* DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
G.A.Warrior 8: *yawn*
Dayn: I HATE YOU, YOU AND YOUR STUPID ANT CARAPACES AND HIGH GODDAMN PV!!
Travis: DONT WORRY I WILL SA- *is crushed by rock upon trying to open door*
Dayn: I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or surrender at that. Then again, I'm gonna have to laugh or cry... I'm not French.
*Ants close in and begin attacking, Dayn fights defensively, barely fending them off*
Dayn: QUIT ATTACKING ME YOU GODDAMN INSECTS!! HEYAAAAAAAAAARGH! *swings at ant*
Ant: *ka-ting* SKREE!!
Dayn: Okay, this is not working... and when things don't work, it's time to GET PYROMANIAC!! *lights torch* TREMBLE IN FEAR, PUNY MORTALS, FOR FIRE ELEMENTAL HAS COME! *waves torch at ants*
Ants: Skree?
Dayn: Oh wait, that works on bees...
Ants: HISSSS!! *all continue to attack*
*Travis wakes up*
Travis: I SHALL SAVE TH- *steps on stone trap and is crushed yet again*
Dayn: Dammit, either stay unconcious or stay concious and help me!
Travis: X_x
Dayn: That's what i thou- STOP THAT! *swings at ants*
Ants: HIssSKREE!
Dayn: *runs through doorway and closes the door*
Dayn: HA! Ants cant open doors! ^.^
*rock at either side of door breaks*
Dayn: Y'know, did I mention today how much I HATE ants?
How will our hero get out of this mess? Tune in for Chapter III: Who Needs Bugspray?
© 2006 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir