Chapter 37: Through the Tower of Eternal Flames... WE CARRY ON!

Mad Minstrel: Alrighty, you've finished off your quests. I warn you... this will be one of the most dangerous adventures you ever go on. The Tower of Eternal Flames is not to be trifled with. In it thousands of adventurers have-

Dayn: -been burnt to a horrible crisp... we found that out the HARD way. We've dealt with worse.

Mad Minstrel: Ah, but have you?

Travis: Yes, we have.

Mad Minstrel: Ah, but HAVE you?

Travis: ... Yes, we have.

Mad Minstrel: Ah, but HAVE you?

Travis: Don't make me cast magic...

Mad Minstrel: Heretakethisstuffandgonowbyebye *hands Travis, Dayn, Jerrica, and Hawkslayer a few rings, wands, and a pickaxe*

Travis: Thanks for the rings... but mine are stu..ck? *notices no rings*

Dayn: THEY'RE GONE!? HOLY CRAP!

Travis: Nope, just hiding... they declared psychological warfare on me <_<

Dayn: -.-

Mad Minstrel: YOUGONOW *shovels everyone out of his house*

Dayn: Was it really neccessary to threaten him with magic?

Travis: Yes.

Mad Minstrel: YOUGONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! *slams door*

Jerrica: Ow?

Dayn: Well, let's see what we have here. Ooh, rings of ice... these will keep our equipment safe... fireproof blankets... fire resistance rings... wands of digging and cold... and a bill >_>

Travis: That's it, stand back, I am so burning his house down.

*much Travis-restraining later*

Travis: Meanies. I wanted to burn his house down.

Dayn: That would have been counter-intuitive. Ahhh, there it is, just up ahead... everyone ready?

Travis: *attempting to pry doomed rings off with a rattlesnake*

Jerrica: Yup.

Hawkslayer: O.o Yeah.

Dayn: Travis, you'll have to go without the rings of ice, so watch your equipment. Do you have any spells that might help?

Travis: *bitten* AUGH! *casts neutralize poison* >_> Ice ball, maybe... with my sorcerer talents, I might be able to use that to keep the air cool.

Dayn: Good. Let's stop being serious and start being MURDEROUS!

All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *everybody edges away from Dayn*

Dayn: Oh come on, you know you want it. NOW CHARGE!

*Floor 1*

Fire Giant King: Boo.

Dayn: Jesus, even with the rings it's fu- oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh dear.

Travis: Stand back.... *SWATHE OF ICE SPELLS*

Fire Giant King: *raises eyebrow* You hit nothing... except a mailbox... and possibly a moose.

Travis: ...

Dayn: Work on the aim there, sorcererboy. And how is there a moose in a tower that has temperatures approaching 500 degrees?

FGK: Moose are really resilient.

Travis: IMMA EAT IT! *runs off*

Jerrica: *NINJA-SCALPEL*

FGK: GAK!

Hawkslayer: >_O DIE DIE DIE! *stabstabstab*

Dayn: *carvecarvecarve*

FGK: Ow, my entrails. *dies*

Travis: *eat eat eat*

Fire Giants (x100): YOU KILLED OUR KING! DIIIIIIIIIIE!

Hawkslayer: OH SHIT! O_O

Travis: *runs up to the FGK corpse, eats it, and runs off screaming something about the motherland.

Dayn: There goes our heavy artillery.

Fire Giants: O_o

Travis: *distantly* THEY LOOKED AT ME FUNNY! THAT MUST DIE! *STORM OF MAGIC MISSILES*

Dayn: YIPE! *dives out of the way*

Fire Giants: OUR SOLAR PLEXUS... II...!!! *all die*

Dayn: Whoa, that was nice.

Travis: *blows finger* You bet. Oh, and moose corpses cause temporary insanity <_<.

Dayn: And here I thought you were just crazy.

Jerrica: *isn't there*

Hawkslayer: O_o

*floor 2*

Travis: *humming zelda 2 dungeon theme*

Dayn: Well, we've made it to the second floor, and it's hot as all frigging hell in here.

Travis: Actually, hell is about 60 degrees cooler...

Dayn: ... That's nice to know. Crap, one of my fireproof blankets is starting to burn up... we don't have too much time.

Fire Grue: BLARGH!

Travis: DAYN! STOP HIM WITH YOUR VIOLENCE!

Dayn: WITH GUSTO! *cleave*

Fire Grue: *dodge* >_> *eats Travis*

Travis: *wiggles* AUGH!

Dayn: *CLEAVECLEAVE*

Fire Grue: O_O

Dayn: *KER-PALADIN*

Fire Grue: >_>

Dayn: <_<

Travis: *bursts out Alien style* SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Fire Grue: x_X

Travis: MINE! *eats the corpse... bursts into flames*

Dayn: Ummm...

Travis: Yes, I know I'm on fire... now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna run around in circles screaming like a little girl...

Dayn: *covers Travis with a fireproof blanket*

Travis: O_o thanks

Dayn: You're welcome, but, ahhh... I think we have company...

Fire Beetles: CLICK.

Hawkslayer: O_O

Travis: They look like ants...

Dayn: ...

Dayn: ...

Dayn: ...

Hawkslayer: 0.o

Dayn: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*floor 3*

Travis: Well, we cleared that out pretty quickly. *is splattered with blood*

Dayn: *breathing hard, covered in beetle guts*

Hawkslayer: I'm scared... o.O

Jerrica: *still isnt here*

Dayn: Where the hell did Jerrica go?

Travis: Probably went to scout something out... have mercy on her.

*elsewhere*

Jerrica: *is wearing a FGK corpse* GATHER ROUND MY LOYAL FIRE GIANTS! GATHER ROUND AND I SHALL TELL YE A STORY! *aside* A story about me killing you and getting tons of exp... >:D

Fire Giants: YAAR!

Jerrica: *NINJA-SCALPEL*

Fire Giants: X_X

Jerrica: It's almost too easy.

...

...

Fire beetle: ...

Jerrica: *shoots an arrow at the beetle, killing it* MY CORPSES! *eats corpses*

*whereelse*

Dayn: Well, with any luck she'll be okay. What do you think, Travis? *is at a three way crossroad*

Travis: I think I felt a disturbance in the force... as if millions of monsters screamed out in terror before being suddenly carved apart by a scalpel...

Dayn: Heh. Sounds like Jerrica alright.

Travis: ...and eaten...

Dayn: Doesn't sound like Jerrica... WHAT IS IT WITH THIS PLACE AND CORPSES?

Travis: Possibly the corruption factor... also, my bones hurt. *sprouts a small horn*

Dayn: Jeez. We had best get you to-

Travis: LOOK, I'M HORNY!

Dayn: ... Moving on. *runs*

Hawkslayer: O_O WAIT FOR ME

Travis: Oh come on, it wasn't that bad.

*floor 4*

Jerrica: Took you guys long enough. *is scalpeling off the face of a fire grue*

Travis: Why am I not surprised? *goring a fire beetle with his newfound horn*

Dayn: Gah, that's creeping me out.

Fire Giant Kings: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Dayn: More kings? HOW MANY DAMN RULERS DO THE FIRE GIANTS HAVE?!

FGK1: Well, it's less like a monarchy and more like a-GURK!

Travis: *standing behind him with the rune covered trident through his heart* You bore me. *blows up the other FGK with a snap of his fingers*

Dayn: Holy crap.

Travis: I'm getting better with sorcery! :D

Hawkslayer; O.o

Jerrica: Uhhh, guys? We have more fire beetles coming in from all over the place, grues everywhere, I scouted this place out. We had better get to that temple soon or we'll be overwhelmed.

Travis: Yeah. Dayn, get the wands of digging.

Dayn: You betcha.

Jerrica: HURRY! *is swatting at fire beetles with a ration*

Travis: What happened to your scalpel?

Jerrica: Eh, I don't want it to rust.

Travis: ... Urge... to... murder...

Dayn: *restrains Travis* No time for that. Here we go. *zaps wand of digging, sending a hole blasting through the wall... and right into a gigantic dragon's face*

Great Wyrm: ........... GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Dayn: ...

Travis: ...

Jerrica: ...

Hawkslayer: O_O ...

Travis: I think I just wet myself...


Oh dear. Our heroes are in a bit of a fix now, unless they have a lot of anti-dragon weaponry. Is there such a thing as anti-dragon weaponry? If so, do they have it? And if so, does Travis or Dayn know how to use it? And if so-*gunshot* Find out... next time... in... Chapter XXXVIII: Into the fires of forever! ... I'm going to bleed out now.

© 2007 Travis Prue and Dainel murrrrrr (lol fox)