Chapter 39: Final Gremlintasy

Travis: So...

...

...

Dayn: That was the most inane fight I have ever had the displeasure of participating in. At least we got one of these damn orbs.

Jerrica: WAAAAAAAA! *ninjas away*

Travis: O_o ohhhhkay? Anyway, what do we do about these few remaining fire creatures?

*Various fire creatures are drinking tea around the ACW's corpse*

Hawkslayer: O.o leave them be, they're too weird to attack.

Dayn: For once I agree. Anyway... what the hell does this thing do? I swear it crackles when I touch it.

Jerrica: *ninjas back with a +5 mithril plate mail of heaviness* Ninja abilities... being strained... by heavy weight...! *CLONG* X_X

Hawkslayer: O.o Jerrica? *peers under the plate mail*

Dayn: Activating whatever it is probably isn't a good idea, as it's corrupted by Chaos....

Travis: *still on fire* NONSENSE! *activates the orb*

...

Travis: Well, that was anticlima-

*kkkkkerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

Travis: -ctic.

Dayn: *is on fire* I hate you so much.

Travis: That... was awesome ^_^

Dayn: Well, if fire fireballs, then maybe water heals? *grabs the water orb and activates it*

...

Dayn: Uhh.... why do I suddenly feel-

*FWOOSH*

Your gauntlets [+0 +1] rust! Your blessed iron longsword (1d8+2) rusts! Your metal cap [+0 +-+-414231] rusts! Your iron boots [-1] [+1] rust! Your...

*much of this later*

Dayn: GLub... ... ... I don't know, but to me, it seems like this is a sign. A big one that says "I HATE THE ORBS OF CHAOS".

Travis: I feel pretty ^.^ *is wearing orb on head*

Dayn: ... Just... get me to a smith that can remove this rust before I break my paladinic vows.

Travis: I'll do it... *pulls out a white potion and pours it on the sword... which cause it to rust more...*

Dayn: ... Travis? Stop trying to help, right now.

Travis: Sorry... O_o

Dutchess: ...

Travis: What?

Dutchess: Wuff. ^^

Travis: Must resist urge to pet... MUST... RESIST... oh come here you. *scritch*

Dutchess: ^^

*later*

Dutchess: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Travis: *scritchscritchgrowstwomorearms*

Dayn: I think you're scritching the dog too much... and... that the orbs are starting to affect you.

Travis: Or maybe it's just the scept-

Dayn: Huh?

Travis: ... >_> I said nothing.

Dayn: Yes yo-

Travis: ... <_< I said nothing.

Dayn: Yes... yo-

Travis ... >_< I said nothing!

Dayn; Okay, fine. Just PLEASE stop scritching the dog before she-

Dutchess: *implodes*

Dayn: ... has something temporally displacing happen to her.

Travis: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :(

Dutchess: ^.^

Travis: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! :)

Dutchess: *rolls around randomly*

*after this completely random humor*

*outside the ToEF*

Travis: Well, now we only have three more orbs to find...

Jerrica: And where might you suggest those be?

Travis: I don't know, but hopefully some place that isn't hotter than the depths of Hell...

Dayn: Buck up. Our equipment might be burned half to the point where it's unusable, but we have TWO orbs of chaos now, and this is most likely the hardest part. ONWARDS!

Travis: ONWARDS! *is still on fire*

Dayn: ... Why are you not screaming in pain?

Travis: *flesh melting off* I feel hot... in a good way. ^_^

Dayn: ...

Travis: I'm just kidding <_<

Dayn: ... Too... weirded... out... to... respond... *rusty-clanks away*

Jerrica: Wait, how's my scalpe-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *CRIES* MY SCALPELS! THEY'RE RUSTY!!!!!!!!!! *etc etc etc cries more blah blah*

Travis: >_> *drags Jerrica and he armor of heaviness away*

Dayn: Hey, what the hell is going on over there?

Woman: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Stiles: HAHAHAHAHAHA! *DOCTORHEADBUTTDOCTORHEADBUTTDOCTORHEADBUTT*

Angie: DOCTOR, STOP HEADBUTTING THE NEWBORN, IT'S ALREADY DEAD!

Travis: ...

Dayn: ...

*we are so getting masses of angry emails for that, later*

Travis: So, where do we go now?

Dayn: ANYWHERE where that completely random and horrific image will get OUT OF MY HEAD. Onn, help my thoughts, help my thoughts, help my thoughts...

Onn: You're on your own there... I need to go to a shrink now...

Dayn: Well, Jesus, YOU'RE just a bunch of help. *lightning bolt'd* Ow!

Travis: <_< Onn, was it really neccessary to do that?

Onn: Yes.

Travis: >_> Just checking...

*later*

Dayn: I heard that something was in the southwestern corner of the Chain... want to check it out?

Travis: Nothing better to do.

Jerrica: Sure.

Dutchess: Woof.

Hawkslayer: O.o

*later*

Travis: You shiver really bad. It's dark here!

Dayn: What!? Okay, it IS cold, but nobody has to point out that it's dark in that cave. And we're not inside it yet!

Travis: *points*

Sign: Welcome to the Gremlin Cave. Proudly since who the @!$% cares, "You feel watched. You shiver. You shiver really bad! It's dark here!"

Hawkslayer: O.0 Boilerplate signs!? AGAIN?

Dayn: Gah, just follow me. *enters*

Travis: You don't get a feeling of... being watched, do you?

Dayn: ...

Travis: Dayn?

Dayn: Nah.

*later*

Gremlin: MEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Travis: What the hell is this thing? Can I blow it up? *is holding a magical torch*

Dayn: Better yet, I'll drown the bugger. *throws the chaos elemental orb of water at it*

*FWOOOOOOOOOOSH*

Dayn: ...

Gremlins: MEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Travis: Dayn?

Dayn: Yes?

Travis: What have I told you about paying your child support?

Dayn: ............................. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*ten seconds later*

Place: *destroyed*

Dayn: *exhausted*

Nullz-I mean godz-... GREMLINZILLA: *reforms from the gremlin-bits when a water trap suddenly triggers* RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!

Travis: *awed*

Jerrica: *unconcious with a dell PC on top of her*

Dell Kid: Dude, you got jipped! *walks two feet and gets eaten by gremzilla*

Hawkslayer: >_O DIE! *charges forward... and gets swallowed into the mass of gremlins* O_O NOOOOOOOOOO-gurgle

Travis: There's only one thing left to do...

Dayn: What's that?

Travis: ...indiscriminate murder.

Dayn: ...

Travis:... It sounded better in my head.

Dayn: JUST HURRY IT UP, HAWKSLAYER WILL BE DEVOURED!

Hawkslayer: O_o *muffled* ACTUALLY, IT TICKLES! THOUGH IT'S GETTING HARD TO BREATHE!

Gremlinzilla: RAAAAAAAAAAAWR! *slowly lumbers forward*

Travis: THEY'RE TORTURING HIM! NOBODY TORTURES ANY OF THE PARTY, EXCEPT ME! TIME TO DIE, GREMZILLA! *begins glowing red* METEO!

Gremzilla: O_o

*Four meteors fall from the sky, landing exactly on Gremzilla, causing a 20 foot radius explosion which engulfs Gremzilla completely*

Dayn: I smell a reference... barring that, why exactly did you think that would somehow save Hawkslayer?

Travis: ...

*remains smolder*

Travis: I... uh... didn't really think about that.

Hawkslayer: O.x My blood hurts.

Jerrica: Stand back. *reduce pain, cura, reduce pain*

*fail, fail, fail*

Hawkslayer: O_O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!

*later*

Hawkslayer: ... The pain... O_O

Jerrica: Shut up, you big baby. *is carrying Hawkslayer over her shoulder*

Dell Kid: AHHHHHHHGH!! *is being dragged over rocks by Travis*

Dayn: At least we got this cool phial :D

Travis: ... WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT? AND WHY IS IT LIT?

Dayn: Dunno, but I feel faint for some reason. *falls over, still*

Darkness: *ominous music*

Travis: *stumbles over a climbing set* AUGH!

Gremlins: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Jerrica: ... oh shit...


With Dayn down, a phial found, a climbing set stumbled upon, and Gremzilla gone, with gremlins abound waiting to be found, how the hell will I get out of this narration without being shot? (Dot.) *multiple gunshots*

Travis: Did anybody hear an explosion?

Jerrica: No, but I did hear gunshots.

Travis: ... G'une sh'awts? What are they?

Jerrica: ... Uh, nevermind.

© 2007 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir.