Chapter 59: A Day Late and an Hour Early
*we rejoin our heroes after getting to the stone circle... twenty minutes after it closes*
Travis: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
Akki: Calm down, we can come back next month... unless you want to wait here for a whole month*
Travis: I can do that...
Dayn: *picks up Travis* Nope, we're checking out that ruined city we passed on the way here. =D
Travis: Put me do- *Dayn stuffs a large ration in Travis' mouth* mrf mrf mrfg
Dayn: Think of that as revenge for feeding the Sword of Nonnak and the Whip of Masochism to that ratling dementor.
Jerrica: Isn't revenge a chaotic act?
Dayn: Meh, I'm lawful enough. It won't drop my alignment... much...
Travis: *swallows ration* Wait... Whip of Masochism? That explains why the handle was fuzzy...
Dayn: Yeah... um...
Travis: And it looked as though it had been... used... recently... ewwwwwwww! *escapes Dayn's grasp and sets himself ablaze*
Dayn: '_';...
Travis: So, Dayn, who had you been whipping? *looks at Akki*
Akki: Don't look at me, I'm not into S&M Paladins...
Travis: Hmmm... *looks at Jerrica*
Jerrica: What Akki said...
Travis: That means only one thing... D= *still on fire*
Dayn: Umm, I was using it to become more lawful? :D
Travis: D=
Jerrica: Travis, are you okay?
Travis: D=
Dayn: Anyw-
Travis: *standing on Jerrica's head* IMMA ROOSTER!
Akki: Looks like he got a hard clunk on the head or something. Or his mind snapped.
Travis: THE LATTER. :D:D:D:D:DD *DANCES AROUND madly*
Dayn: *smacks Travis around a bit with a large trout*
Travis: Agh. Thanks. I needed that. *wipes fish salt off himself* Seriously, what the hell are we going to do now?
Dayn: Like I said... check out that ruined city...
Travis: You were serious?! BUT... THERE'S... a...
Boilerplate sign: Welcome to the Ruined City! Proudly since an undetermined time, "As you advance into the ruins, you catch a short sight on some strange huge figure... With fluid motions it disappears into the ruins! Something seems to be waiting for you... You enter the ancient street of a long-dead and even longer-forgotten city. Various trees and shrubs have overgrown the monuments of a former civilization. Strange unknown runes cover what remains of ancient palaces and buildings. Some forboding evil seems to lurk beneath the peace of death emanating from this strange place."
Travis: Gee... how strange...
Dayn: Really. Don't look too close at it. Akki?
Akki: *hugging the sign* So pretty and shiny @_@
Dayn: Oh brother... Dutchess, crowbar, please.
Dutchess: *picks a crowbar up in her mouth and tosses it to Dayn*
Dayn: *pryprypryprypryyyyyyyyyyyyy*
Akki: NOOOOOOO! *carried off kicking and screaming by Travis* COME BACK SHINY SIGN!
*later*
Akki: ;_; shiny...
Travis: Get over it...
Minotaur Mazemaster: Rawr... or something. Enter here and prepare yourselves for a great journey! A journ- wait, where did everybody go?
Travis: RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dayn: *dragging Jerrica, Dutchess, and the comatose Akki* RUN FASTER RUN FASTER RUN FASTER MINOTAURS ARE SCA-
Jerrica: *grabs a nearby brick and stops Dayn and Travis dead by grabbing them both with her legs* You do realize I can scalpel his eyes out without looking.
Dayn: You're crazy! He'll trample you!
Jerrica: YOU, maybe, but I can-
Minotaur Mazemaster: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR *rears a hoof above Jerrica*
Jerrica: *very pale* Okay, your turn. *rolls out of the way, THUD*
Akki: @_@
Minotaur Mazemaster: *Tries to step on Travis, who barely gets out of the way*
Travis: Okay, enough! *eyes turn purple* I'm sick of things trying to SQUISH ME!
MM: Hmm?
Travis: *Ninja kicks the MM in the head* DONT TRY TO STEP ON ME! IT ANNOYS ME!
MM: *sits on Travis*
Travis: Can't... breaf...
MM: Now, where was I? Oh yes! Enter here and prepare yoursel- *explodes*
Dayn: O_O WHAT THE HELL!?
Travis: Stupid bitch, should have known better than to sit on a sorcerer with purple eyes.
Penguin: *runs by in a blur* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT! O_O
Travis: What th- *trampled by demonic laughing horses being ridden by Dylan, Knux, Sliat, and Lee.*
Lee: @_o YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT YOU MAY NEVER TAKE OUR PENGUIN!
Dylan: Shut up and chase the damned penguin!
Travis: I hate everybody...
Dayn: Travis, w-
Travis: I DONT KNOW WHY I'M ON FIRE! STOP ASKING ME!
What is this journey the Minotaur Mazemaster was talking about? How long has Dayn been into naughtily whipping himself? Why is Travis on fi-
Travis: THAT IS IT! *wields the Rune Covered Trident and starts chasing the Narrator*
Oops, gotta go! *runs*
Travis: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!
© 2008 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir