Chapter 60: A-MAZE-ing Minotaurs!

We re-join our heroes on... umm... some... level of the... place...

Travis: I hate this place more and more with every passing SECOND.

Akki: Me too... shiny... @.@

Dayn: Even my Onn-inspired patience can't overcome this! We need to get the hell out of here!

Travis: I swear, this place has some kind of demonic loop of hell in it... *throws a rock to the left and gets hit by the same rock from the right*

Dutchess: Chaotic tendencies RETURNING... *eyes glow red*

Jerrica: *whimpering and muttering to self* Walls... closing in...

Dayn: Alright, we need to find the right path, as in, the non-repeating... non-strange path.

Travis: And how the hell do you propose we do that?

Minotaur: Water... please...

Dayn: *snaps Minotaur's neck* FINALLY! OUTLET FOR NON-LAWFUL AGGRESSION!

Travis: And you say I'm evil.

Dayn: No, just chaoticly insane with murderous tendancies and hatred of everything :D

Travis: Same thing?

Dayn: Eh, I'll ask Onn to forgive me later.

Onn: AS LONG AS YE SIN IN THINE NAME, YE SHALL BE FORGIVEN!

Travis: Wonder what that is... *goes to look at something over... umm, somewhere*

Akki and Dutchess: WHAT WHERE!? *follow Travis*

Dayn: Uh... you shouldn't get split up from u... oh damn it.

*Travis, Akki and Dutchess have dissapeared utterly ... or at least into the background*

Travis: *points at something on the ground*

Jerrica: Uhhh... Dayn... do you have a ceaseless feeling of dread of your surroundings right now?

Akki: *gasps*

Dayn: No, just a ceaseless feeling of rage at how Travis ran off and left us here.

Dutchess: *barks at whatever it is as Travis reaches for whatever it is and is pulled down*

Jerrica: Uh... think something happened to them? *gazing in fear at the walls*

Akki: *starts hitting Travis and the whatever with the staff*

Dutchess: *bites Travis and the whatever*

Dayn: I hear cracking noises... no way we can follow them, we'll get even MORE lost.

Dutchess: *looks up and barks at Akki, who moves out of the way as several very heavy things fall on Travis*

Akki: *shrugs and begins painting her fingernails*

Jerrica: Doesn't sound pleasant...

Dayn: Curse me and my limited power. And, you know, teleport control. Otherwise I'd be able to zap us there.

*The pile of very heavy stuff explodes. Travis stands up and his eyes turn purple as he starts chasing Akki and Dutchess with the Rune Covered Trident whilst casting Fire Bolts at them*

Dayn: What in the HELL is going on?

*later*

Dayn: So what did you guys find?

Travis: *bleeding... alot* Oh, nothing of any importance...

Akki: *on fire* I found that fire burns with the heat of... fire.

Dutchess: *also on fire* X_x

Dayn: *pulls out magical fire extinguisher and douses everyone liberally* Less burny now?

Travis: *WHOOSH* The hell? *is on fire again*

Dayn: O_o Did you turn into a phoenix or something?

Travis: I dont know... I wonder if I mimicked something burny...*puts self out*

Dayn: Like a TORCH? *holds up burning torch*

Travis: *WHOOSH* DANNIT DAYM!

Dutchess: *rolling around on the ground* MY SKIN, THE NERVES HAVE BURNED AWAY!

Jerrica: *Nerve Repair, Nerve Repair, Heal Burns, Cure Moderate Wounds, Nerve Repair, pizza sauce, moose*

Dutchess: ^_^ Yummy.

Travis: IMMA EAT IT! *tackles the moose*

Moose: F*(* THIS! *mooses into nothingness*

Jerrica: It was a summoned moose? I didn't know I could do that. *still staaaaaaaring suspiciously at the walls*

Travis: Heh. I'm still on fire, and you know what? I just realized I can hug enemies and set them on fire. :D:D:D

Dayn: O_o Uhhh...

Travis: What's that? Your childsupport is more per month now and you need a HUG!? =D

Dayn: NO THANK YOU! *hides behind Dutchess, who hides behind Akki, who hides behind Jerrica, who hides behind Dayn, who hides behind dutchess, etc and so on*

Travis: I was kidding... O_o

*later*

Travis: *throws a rock to the left and hits Dayn on the right side of his face*

Dayn: Stop that!

Travis: Sorry, I'm bored...

Minotaur 1: RAWR!

Minotaur 2: RAWR!

Minotaur 3: RWAR!

Jerrica: EEK!

Minotaur King: Prepare to face the might of my sub-serf-slave-military-force-militia!

Travis: >_> I'll give you a cookie if you leave us alone.

Minotaur King: A cookie? I HATE COOKIES! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Travis: Dammit...

Dayn: *slices Minotaur 1's arm off as it charges at him* New plan! Running away sounds good!

Minotaur 1: Tis but a scratch!

Dayn: >_> *parries Minotaur 2's weapon and stabs him through the face*

Jerrica: *fearfully throwing scalpels at minotaurs while screaming*

Minotaur 1: HAVE AT YOU! *attacks Travis*

Travis: *roasts Minotaur 1 with a bouncing lightning bolt* CRISPEH! *takes a bite* HUH!? *confusion*

Minotaur 1: TIS ONLY A FLESH WOUND *dies*

Minotaur 3: I SHALL CRUSH THY PUNY FACE! *raises hoof*

Dayn: MY PUNY FACE IS GORGEOUS... ER THAN YOURS! *slices at Minotaur 3's leg and rolls out of the way*

Elk: Eh? *eats self*

*You feel uneasy*

Travis: O_o Moving on. *stabs Minotaur 3's butt with the end of the Rune Covered Trident*

Jerrica: EEEEEEEEEE! *throws a scalpel straight into Minotaur 3's eye*

Minotaur 3: AHHHH! MY EYE! *shower of blood*

Dayn: Whoa. Now that is morbid. *slices Minotaur 3 in two* Though that's more morbid. :D

Travis: You need to work on your battle wittiness.

Minotaur King: Uhhh... you aren't the regular type of adventurers, I see.

Dayn: *advancing on King with sword drawn* Not exactly. HAVE AT THEE *lunges*

Minotaur King: *smashes Dayn in the face with a gigantic mace*

Dayn: AAAAAAAGH! MY FACE AND DELICATE SENSE OF POETIC RHYMING!

Travis: I thought you hated to Rhyme. I thought you considered it a crime.

Dayn: Don't make me kill you next.

Travis: You might want to be more concerned with how your nose is broken.

Minotaur King: *running away*

Jerrica: HE'S GETTING AWAY!

Minotaur King: LOOK, A DISTRACTION!

Distraction: Hi, my name is Bob. Let me take a few minutes to tell you about quality life insurance from coloni-

Dayn: *slices Bob/Distraction's head off* GODDAMN INSURANCE SALESMEN!

Travis: He's too far gone. Either way, he dropped this mace :D *picks it up and smashes Dayn's jaw with it*

Dayn: MRRRRRRRRFRFRFFRRF! (Why the hell did you do that?!!)

Travis: I'm a chaotic asshole, why else? :D

*many Bone Repair castings and some time later*

Minotaur Emperor: You are very skilled. PREPARE TO DIE. That is all. *charges with massive axe*

Dayn: How blunt. *ducks*

Travis: Actually, the axe is quite sharp.

Dayn: SO I NOTICED! *rolls out of the way of another swing*

Travis: *eyes turn purple* IMMA COPY AXE FIGHTING :D

Akki: *standing in front of Travis, painting her fingernails*

Travis: DAMMIT! *starts painting his fingernails*

Dayn: Don't you need an axe to use axe fighting?

Travis: DOUBLE DAMMIT!

Dayn: *somehow parries a massive axe blow* Jerrica, a little cover fire here?

Jerrica: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ETC *hurling scalpels and rune-covered shuriken rapid-fire*

Minotaur Emperor: *scalpels bounce off his abdomen* Mwahahahaha, puny mort- *gets riddled with rune-covered shuriken* GAH!

Jerrica: I thought they returned...

Minotaur Emperor: They're kind of stuck into my abdomen. Ow.

Dayn: *hacks into the Emperor's leg* OUT! OUT OF MY WAY, FOUL BRIGAND!

Konrad: That's my line!

Dayn: O_o

*much fighting and toenail painting later*

Travis: I feel... not right <_< *mind you, Travis is still wearing the tiara*

Akki: And that shade of lipstick suits you ~_^

Travis: I hate you...

Minotaur Emperor: Shall we call it a draw? *has no arms or legs*

Proto Man Carved into a Block of Yellow Demon: RAWR! *rushes into the melee*

Dayn: O_o Is this place the ruins of weirdness or something?

Travis: *Impales the rune covered trident into the Minotaur Emperor's head, killing him*

Dayn: WHOA! *dodges massive axe as it falls to the ground* That thing looks HEAVY.

Travis: MINE! *strains massively in an attempt to pick it up*

*weird noises*

Travis: Ummm, Dayn?

Dayn: Yes?

Travis: ... uhh... What does a hernia feel like?


© 2008 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir