Chapter 62: Darkforge Dementia
Travis: I cannot believe that after all that stuff we just went through, we only killed six days...
Naruto: Believe it! *turns into a nine-tailed fox and scampers away merrily leaving destruction in his path*
Akki: It's so cute, can we get one? :D
Travis: YES!
Dayn, Jerrica, and Dutchess (at the same time as Travis): NO!
Akki: Dammit...
Black Cat: Mew! ^_^ *rubs on Travis' leg*
Travis: KITTY! ^_^ *pets teh kitteh*
Dayn: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Travis: What do you mean?
Dayn: The umm... bad luck thing?
Travis: Oh sh- *crushed by a giant lava lamp*
Akki and Jerrica: =o So pretty...
*later in some cave*
Travis: La la la, killing time *stabs a jackal in the head with a rusty plastic butterkinfespork* and jackals...
Akki: Plas-
Travis: I know, don't question it.
Jerrica: This is a long and non-descript tunnel.
Akki: SIGN! *clings to the sign*
Sign: "A long and non-descript tunnel." Proudly since pie.
Dayn: Is it me or are the signs getting weirder?
Travis: They're getting weirder...
Steel Golem: RAWR! *breaths fire at Travis, setting him ablaze*
Travis: This is getting really old really fast.
Steel Golem: RAW! *swings at Travis, but goes right through him* Huh? *explodes*
Travis: *standing behind the steel golem's... corpse?* Hehehehheheheeeeee O_0
Jerrica: I think his insanity became a seperate being. o.O
Travis: Nope, silent image :D
Jerrica: Ah.
Akki: @.@ Shiiiinyy...
Travis: *pryprypryprypryprypryprypryyyyyyyyyyypryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*
Akki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*one pryingakkioffthedamnsign and going down some stairs later*
Dayn: I smell the reek of sulphur, steel and oil!
Sign: Welcome to the second level of Darkforge! Proudly since forever, "You smell the reek of sulphur, steel and oil" Home to many steel golems, animated armors, steel horrors, and one psychopathic dwarf.
Travis: Isn't it "sulfur"?
Jerrica: No, shut up. *whap with blunt scalpel*
Travis: Ow! I didn't know there were any of those.
Dayn: This looks bad... *restraining Akki who's valiantly trying to cling to the sign*
Travis: I'd say. We already have ONE crazy dwarf to deal with, we don't need another. *blows up the sign*
Akki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *breaks free and cries over the remnants*
Jerrica: *applies copious amounts of ether to Akki*
Travis: Thank you!
Steel Golems: RAWR!
Travis: MOOSE!
Steel Golems: ???
Moose: EH! *runs into the center of the steel golems, triggering a massive stampede of Canadian woodland creatures while Revolee plays*
Travis: ... I'm not questioning that...
Steel golems: O_o *pick up picket signs and begin striking*
Dayn: Great, they went union.
Jerrica: YAAAAAAAAAGH! *ninjas rapidly around splashing water onto all the steel golems*
Steel golem: We're all steel, moron. Here it doesn't rust.
Jerrica: Oh. !@$! *descended upon by horde of striking steel golems* X_X
Dayn: Should we help her?
Travis: *Drawing a moustache on Akki's face* Probably...
Dutchess: YARGH! *madly trying to bite a steel golem's neck*
Travis: *blasts them into oblivion with lightning bolt* These things aren't that difficult to beat with magic :D
Jerrica: *emerges from the swarm, bleeding and bruised* THANKS FOR THE HELP!
Travis: Any time :)
Jerrica: *trips Travis and applies copious amounts of pain to him*
Travis: Ow?
Jerrica: DIE DIE D- Oh sh-! *turns*
Steel Horrors: RAH!
Travis: *bleeding* Give you lots of oil if you leave. You look squeaky.
Steel Horrors: =D
Travis: *throws many CURSED oils of rust removal at the Horrors*
Horrors: *rust and crumble to dust*
Travis: Wait a second... aren't they made of steel?
Horror: Only our blades. *still corroding*
Travis: I think we should leave this place. >_>
Akki: No! Let's explore more! Must find new sign to love! :D
Travis: Right...
Kherab: WELCOME TO DARKFORGE! FOR YOU, A QUEST I HA- *stabbed in the head by Travis*
Travis: SHUT UP! I AM NOT BEING WHIPPED WITH A CANE AGAIN!
Dayn: Travis! Stop!
Kherab: X_< *punches Travis in the solar plexus, sending him flying into a wall*
Travis: HOLY SH-*dust cloud*
Kherab: Now, as I was sa- *kicked across the room by Travis*
Travis: Stupid f***ing dwarves! Let's get out of this damn pla- AGGH!
Kherab: *has teeth clamped on Travis' ankle*
Travis: *running around in circles* GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! *starts hitting Kherab in the head with a cooked lizard*
Kherab: *lets go of Travis' ankle to eat the lizard* Yum! *bites Travis' arm*
Travis: GRRRRR! *starts pimp slapping Kherab with his other hand*
Dayn: *runs in and tries to slice Kherab off Travis, but ends up slicing Travis off Kherab*
Travis: AAAGH! *bleeds* MY LIMITED WIZARD HITPOINTS!
Kherab: Agh! This nonsense aside. *returns to forge*
Jerrica: Hah. Calm Monster works wonders.
Kherab: I have a quest for ye!
Dayn: @.@ QUEST! *hugs Kherab's ankles* QUESTQUESTQUESTQUESTQUEST
Travis: *stabs Kherab in the head again then kicks him across the room whilst casting several bolt spells at him* STUPID DAWRF! *shows arm to Jerrica* Does this look infected to you?
Jerrica: *madly casting heal and calm monster spells on both Dayn and Kherab, who have promptly begun arm-wrestling for no discernable reason*
Dayn: AAGHH! HOW DARE YOU FLY AWAY WHEN I ASK YOU FOR A QUEST!
Kherab: I'VE BEATEN STRONGER LADS THAN YE, BOY!
Dutchess: ENOUGH OF THIS! *bites EVERYBODY in the ankle in sequence and also in sequence sequentially drags them over to the forge* SIT YOUR SEQUENTIAL ASSES DOWN AND DON'T MOVE!
Everybody: Yes, Ma'am...
Kherab: As I was sa- *crushed to death by a randomly falling steel golem*
Steel Golem: *explodes*
Travis: Being a karmic rules. :D
Dayn: Well, that was shortlived. *bends down and picks up some strange bracelets* Hey, look at these.
Travis: O_O
Jerrica: O_O
Dutchess: >_>
Akki: T_T
Travis: The... the... LUCKY CHARMS OF GYGAZ!
Dayn: I think I'm deaf again.
Gygaz: They're always after me lucky charms! *disappears*
Jerrica: Woah...
© 2008 Sivart Prue and Daniel Rium
In Memory of Gary Gygax, creator of D&D. May he rest in peace.