Chapter 118: Assassins Bleed... alot.

*ELSEWHERE*

Andor: Lyda, bring me... IT.

Lyda: *brings Andor a box with an big orange R on it*

Andor: No, that's next week's "IT".

Lyda: It is next week.

Andor: INDEED IT IS! *opens the box, pulls out a purple cape, puts it on, and jumps out the window* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *crash*

Lyda: *looks out the window* Ehhh... *looks around* Uhhh... *closes window and walks away whistling*

*We rejoin our heroes after much killing shit*

Dayn: *punches a master assassin in the face*

Jerrica: *scalpels several assassins, using a clean scalpel for each one.* DAMMIT!

Dayn: What? *slices through a gray slayer*

Jerrica: *kicks a holy slayer into next last week* I'm out of scalpels. :<

Dayn: Well, maybe if you didn't have to use a CLEAN one for everything you kill, you wouldn't be having this problem.

Jerrica: That's a good point.

Dayn: I know.

really fast guy: I agree. *slaps Dayn and Jerrica*

Dayn: What the...

Jerrica: Who the hell are you?

rfg: I am the Assassin Prince.

Dayn: Great. You're just the person we were looking for.

Assassin Prince: Is that so? Well, in order to speak with me, you must defeat my... *notices everybody has been defeated* Well, then, let us talk. What is it that thou doest wish to know?

Dayn: We seek the T-

Assassin Prince: Trident of the Red Rooster. Yes, and so does everybody else who enters this place.

Jerrica: Wait, I thought very few people know of it.

AP: Everybody knows of it.

Dayn: Is that so?

AP: Indeed it is so.

Dayn: Are yo-

AP: Nope. You are not worthy to know.

Travis: Actually, sir, they are.

Jerrica: Travis? How the hell did you get here?

Travis: Oh, I'm not "Travis", I'm a quickling giant doppleganger wizard.

Jerrica: Well, I'll be damned.

Dayn: Okay, that explains why you look like Travis, but how do you look like Travis? He's not even here.

Not Travis: He bitchslapped me once.

Jerrica: Makes sense.

AP: So wait, you're saying they have it?

Not Travis: Yep.

AP: Well, in that case. *pulls out a banjo*

Dayn: Oh god dammit.

AP:
You have the needle,
Thus, you must be skilled.
What you seek is in infinity,
Of the number of which you first killed.

Dayn: That was the WORST song ever.

AP: I'm an assassin, not a song writer.

Jerrica: So, we goto the infinite dungeon, the floor of the number of the monster we first killed?

Dayn: Seems easy enough.

AP: How did you figure that out so fast?

Jerrica: The only way it would have been easier is if you had outright told us.

Not Travis: She has a good point.

AP: Shut up.

Jerrica: Hmm, what was the first thing you killed, Dayn?

Dayn: A kobold. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was but a lowly fighter, inexperienced and stupid.

Jerrica: -er.

Dayn: What was that?

Jerrica: Umm, nothing. How many have you killed?

Dayn: I don't know. Also, are you sure it's my first kill and not yours?

Jerrica: Yes. Now tell me how many of the dog-like fucks you've killed.

Dayn: Okay okay. Let's see... *counts on his fingers and toes* this may take awhile...

*34 minutes later*

Dayn: *now wearing glasses and standing in front of a chalkboard with insane equations on it* I GOT IT

Jerrica: Great, so how many kobolds have you killed.

Dayn: One.

Jerrica: One?

Dayn: Yep.

Jerrica: One of the most common creatures on the planet, and you've only killed one.

Dayn: That's what I said.

Jerrica: THEN WHY *kicks chalkboard down* DID IT TAKE YOU HALF A GODDAMNED HOUR AND A CHALKBOARD TO "COUNT" HOW MANY YOU'VE KILLED!?!?!?!

Dayn: I had to make sure.

Jerrica: You know what. I'm not gonna let that piss me off. Let's just go.

Dayn: TO THE INFINITE DUNGEON!

DA-NANANANA!

*ID:1*

Dayn: So, what exactly are we looking for?

Jerrica: I don't know.

(woosh)

Dayn: Who's there?!

Jerrica: Come out!

Filk the Quickling Bard: *suddenly appears in front of Dayn and Jerrica* zzzbaazazaaaaaazzzzzzz.

Dayn: Dude, slow down.

Jerrica: Yeah. We can't understand anything you say.

Filk: thenlistencarefullybecauseimonlydoingthisonce. *pulls out a lute*

Dayn: Seriously? Does EVERYTHING in this GODDAMNED MOUNTAIN RANGE HAVE TO BE A GODDAMNED BARD!?

Filk.
Whatdowehavehere?
Justwhocouldyoube?
Itdoesntmatter
Imstillfasterthanthee.

Mynameisfilk
Andimthefastestalive
Tryasyoumight
Yourestillgonnadie

HEHEHEHE.

Dayn: *drawing his sword.* This is gonna be fun.


© 2010 Travis Prue