Chapter 17: Oh look, an army of undead!
Previously:
Dayn: I'm a noble adventurer!
Little Girl: Find my puppy!
Dayn: Okay.
Rynt: Find the carpenter.
Dayn: Okay.
Roundyman: Kill Hotzenplotz and anybody else who breaks the law.
Dayn: Okay.
Travis: Behold, I am another not-so-noble adventurer!
Dayn: Let us go on an adventure together!
Yrrigs: I'm insane.
Jharod: I'll heal ya!
Yrrigs: Thanks!
Dayn: Well, a job well done. Now we have to go to the caverns of chaos.
Travis: Okay.
Dayn: Here we are.
Travis: Oh, hey, an arena! Let's fight!
Dayn: We've nearly died. Let's go do it again.
Travis: Okay.
Dayn: We've nearly died. Let's go do it again.
Travis: Okay, but let's do it in the big room this time.
Dayn: Okay.
Thrundarr: Slay a purple dog.
Dutchess: I come into existance! MUWAHAHAHA!
Dayn: I didn't hear that.
Travis: Neither did I.
Dayn: We've gone through the animated forest and dwarven halls and nearly died. Let's do it again.
Travis: Okay.
Dayn: We've found Khelavaster.
Travis: Let's try to save his life.
Khelavaster: Find an amulet of life saving.
Travis: Let's pour salt on his wounds and do other stuff to try and save him.
Dayn: Okay.
Travis: That didn't work for some insane reason, so let's go to the infinity dungeon.
Dayn: Okay.
Travis: Here we are at the infinity dungeon.
Dayn: Okay.
Travis: We've gotten separated in the infinity dungeon and almost died. Let's do it again.
Dayn: Okay.
Travis: I found this neat scepter.
Dayn: I found this neat amulet.
Travis: Let's go save Khelavaster to get untold power.
Dayn: I didn't hear that.
*after that hyper-condensed recap*
Dayn: Here you go, old man, try not to expire before you can get it. *hands amulet to Khelavaster*
Khelavaster: Wheeze... *grabs amulet*
*FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH*
Dayn: HOLY CRAP!
Travis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Dutchess: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!
Dayn: What?
Travis: Nothing, I just wanted to make things more dramatic.
Khelavaster: *opens eyes and gets up* Thank ye, noble adventurers! I have tried my best to defeat the forces of Chaos, yet I am no warrior... I am a sage, and the powers of Chaos were too much for me. You are different. You contain limitless potential to do with as you wish...
Travis: That's nice, now gimme spellbooks of kill Dayn!
Khelavaster: *zaps Travis* You two could be the ones who could succeed where I failed. Yet to do that you will need information... and where I cannot provide aid in the most direct form other than in equipment, which I will get to in a moment-
Travis: YES!
Khelavaster: *zaps Travis* - I will provide you with knowledge. Five orbs, powerful artifacts of Balance, each corresponding to an element of their own... twisted into the forms they are in today, containing the essence of Chaos itself and serving to only further regulate Chaos' control of the elements.
Travis: Hurry up!
Khelavaster: *zaps Travis* Each one has been scattered to ancient dungeons... you must recover these if you wish to save Ancardia. They are the only means of accessing the point where Chaos flows into this world. They are appropriately guarded.
Dayn: Why did they scatter them? Why not just keep the orbs BEHIND the barrier, near the source of Chaos, so-
Khelavaster: *zaps Dayn* As I was saying. They are appropriately guarded, each by a powerful guardian who is adept at the element to which their orbs coincide. All of them are located deep in these caverns... except for one, the fire orb, which is the only element's orb to be found on the surface. It is imperative you find these orbs. I cannot stress this enough.
Travis: JUST GIVE ME THE SPELLBOOKS!
Khelavaster: *zaps Travis into unconciousness* Perhaps we shall meet again... and if you ever must find me... I will be in a place neither of you will ever find me.
Dayn: How is that helpful?
Khelavaster: Er, I mean... I'll... be invisible. Somewhere that... you... oh, fine, I was never good at being mystic. I'll be in Terinyo near the central island in the pond system. Good luck with your quest and all that, bye. And you're lucky I don't sue for malpractice! *dissapears*
Travis: ... buh? *sits up* Where'd he go? Where is all the power?
Dayn: He left some stuff... look. Dagger made of what looks like adamantium... maybe eternium... not sure. Two spellbooks-
Travis: GIMMIE! *swipes them*
Dayn: - and six scrolls... never seen what these were before. Labeled "HuCo"... but that can mean anything.
Travis: HuCo!? *drops spellbooks, which he had been feverently reading*
Dayn: What is it?
Travis: I dunno.. I just wanted to sound like I knew. It adds drama.
Dayn: ...
Travis: Okay, okay, fine. I HAVE heard that label somewhere... let me think. Hmmm... yes. That's right. Back when I was near Hurthvilla, dodging jackal patrols as they seemed to be actively hunting for me, I stumbled across one of those scrolls... looks exactly like this one does.
Dayn: Any idea what it does?
Travis: No... I did manage to take it into the city and get it examined before the orcs entered the city. All he managed to tell me was that it had something to do with corruption...
Dayn: So these things corrupt you?
Travis: Not sure. Either they provide resistance to it, lower your resistance, lower your overall level of corruption, or raise it. I'd advise keeping it safe for now and saving it until we know what it's used for.
Dayn: Good idea.
Travis: Now let me get back to the spellbooks of doom! *starts reading feverently again*
Dayn: *sigh*
Travis: Awwww... man....! this book is just another one of teleportation... and this other one's a Bless spell!
Dayn: Doesn't that increase your combat potential?
Travis: Yeah, but I was more hoping for spells that could destroy a large kingdom ;_;
Dayn: I'm gonna pretend I didn't he-
Penguin: *putts by* Butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt.
Travis: Oh look, It's the loonies...
Dayn: Here they come...
Dylan: I HATE PENGUINS! *shoots an arrow at the penguin as he runs after it*
Sliat: WAIT DAMMIT! YOU'RE GONNA KILL THE THING, THEN WE'LL NEVER GET THE REWARD! *runs after Dylan*
Knux: I LIEK TATER TOTS!! *runs after Silat*
Dylan: O_o
Knux: Uga?
Dylan: Nevermind...
Lee: Th' best schemes o' mice an' men are prompt to go run away over the fence! *runs after himself backwards*
Dayn: So what now?
Travis: I say we go deeper into the dungeon. There has to be something... just don't get separated like we did in the infinite dungeon... Dayn?
*Travis turns around to see he is alone with Dutchess*
Travis: *sigh* I should really have been expecting that. Hey, does that smell like rotting flesh...?
*meanwhile, with Dayn*
Dayn: Whoa, there are all sorts of treasures down here! Oh look, a ring mail. *picks up ring mail* Oh look, a torch! *picks up torch* Oh look, a pile of gold! *stuffs pile of gold in pants*
*Dayn rounds a corner*
Dayn: Oh look, an army of undead!
*back with Travis*
Travis: Do you hear rumbling, Dutchess?
Dutchess: I can't hear anything over your overwhelming stupidity.
Travis: Yes, you're a good dog ^.^
Dutchess: >_>
Dayn: *runs by screaming* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Travis: Hm... what could that be?
*an army of undead run past Travis, making the ground shake as they chase after Dayn*
Travis: Oh. An army of undead. That's... *double take* ...
Dutchess: ...
Travis: Dutchess? Um, I think it'd be in our best interests to leave Dayn to die.
Dutchess: ... bark.
Travis: AUGH, MY VIRGIN EARS!
Dutches: BARK BARKIE!!
Travis: Oh right, the running. *runs towards staircase with Dutchess, quickly finds way blocked by a ring of ghosts* ... oh dear.
*back with Dayn*
Dayn: HA! *cleaves through zombie, finds himself faced with four more* Crap! *cleaves through a ghost and kicks a zombie in the crotch before backflipping to cut off a Lich's head* Hey, I'm pretty good! *is hit by a blast of energy* X_X ow... *falls down* OW! That hurt... *gets up and dodges a swing* YIIII!
Zombies: *assorted moaning and shuffling sounds*
Dayn: Gotta fall back... *retreats down the hallway about 21 meters*
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: Come and get me! *adopts defensive stance*
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: That's right, come on!
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: ...
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: *with about twenty meters still between him and the zombies* ...
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: ... um... any day now?
Zombies: *shuffle towards him*
Dayn: ... boring... v_v *cleaves off a lich head*
*3 days later*
*Zombies FINALLY reach Dayn*
Dayn: Bout time... HIYA! *pokes them with sword, it snaps in two* ... oh dear. *drops sword* Wait, I have a backup in my backpack... here we go! *yanks out new sword from backpack* HA! *pokes undead with it*
*zombies explode in a variety of mummified parts, wrappings, decayed flesh, and bones*
Dayn: O_o
Travis: I was hoping you would die, but you never did, and I was bored...
Dayn: Oh, so you-
Travis: Actually, no. I fired that bolt AFTER you touched them... might want to watch out for it, it ricochets.
Dayn: HITTHEDECK! *slumps just in time to avoid blast*
Travis: Hey, pretty good. Anyway... what is that thing?
Dayn: I dunno... it looks kinda silvery...
Travis: Is it blessed?
Dayn: Huh?
Travis: *sigh* did you dip it into holy water?
Dayn: No, I did spill some plain ol' water on it when I broke it's bottle... oddly, I took a sip of it before and it tasted unusually fresh and clean.
Travis: ... *sigh* sometimes I wonder how you ever made it here alive...
Dayn: Yeah... me too...
Travis: Well, anyway, that was holy water. You have a blessed weapon, there - it does more damage to undead. And this is apparently an ancient, magical graveyard.
Dayn: Why does somebody put a graveyard twenty levels down in DUNGEONS OF DOOM?!! Do they think their relatives were that bad?!
Travis: Obviously... and another question. How the hell did they get them down here with all these monsters?
Dayn: ... I was joking. There's a magical elevator right there... didn't you see it?
Travis: .... rgaih... yhkj.... gggg... *turns red*
Dayn: Only it only works in the up direction unless you're the creator.
Travis: .....................................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA-
What will our heroes face after the graveyard? What evil awaits them? Who buries their dead twenty levels down in a dungeon? Who knows? Find out in Chapter XVIII: Water, water, everywhere, and all of it wants to kill you.
© 2006 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir