Chapter 21: Bluprints for a Trident!

Travis: So what the hell happened in that lake?

Dayn: Helped a baby water dragon reunite with his mother, got this nifteh staff... trident... thing covered in runes...

Travis: O_O TH- TH- THE RU- THE RUNE COVERED TRIDENT! *snatches* URK! *has heart attack and falls over*

Dayn: O_o Travis?

Barbarian: My word. Let me get the alfafa leaves.

Dayn: NOOOOOOO! TRAVIS, DON'T DIE! *shakes Travis violently*

Travis: >_> I'm okay, that damn alfafa works wonders. I just gotta wonder where he put it... and how he did it so fast O_o

Onn: *DUN DUN DUNNNNN!*

Istaria: *whap* Shut up dammit! You and your damn drama...

Onn: Sorry...

Ssraxx: mph mphmph!

Onn: Was is REALLY neccessary to tie him up and gag him?

Istaria: Yes.

Barbarian: Strange voices from the sky aside. Barbarian trade secret.

Travis: WHAT TRADE?! You're a freakin' barbarian!

Barbarian: >_> <_< we are mysterious in our ways.

Travis: That's for sure.

Dayn: Cheerios! ^.^

Barbarian: ^.^

Travis: Ahh... what the hell... ^.^

*later*

Travis: So a messenger gave you this artifact in exchange for helping that little dragon in Terinyo? Sweet deal... this thing looks like it could either sell for millions or put about a thousand eyes out in one swoop... and those are on three-eyed monsters. I think it even lets you breathe water and see invisible stuff... like that safe in the corner.

Barbarian: THERE IS NOTHING THERE! *covers corner with cloth conspicouously*

Travis: ... okayyyyy... anyway. Good find... sometimes I have to admit you're less dumb than you seem.

Dayn: Indeed. So, shall we get going?

Travis: Yes, we shall. Where next?

Dayn: Well, according to some information I picked up in Dwarftown there are a lot of places around here we could try out. Our next goal is to get the fire orb, but a lot of things could be done for equipment and other et ceterae in the meantime. Maybe we should split up.

Travis: I hate to admit it, but those are actually great ideas... can I take the trident?

Dayn: Hmmm... well, sure. You'll probably be able to make better use of it than me, since I have better experience with swords and already have this golden sword (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^.^) and you have more experience in polearms...

Travis: (Did he just sqeeeeeeel in his mind?) That's true.

Dayn: So anyway. How about you go and scout out the Tower of Eternal Flames - don't ask how I know the name, and it's a tower of eternal flames somewhere near the Caverns of Chaos that houses the fire orb-

Travis: And there's a boilerplate sign... I passed it...

Dayn: Did you read it?

Travis: No...

Dayn: ... >_>

Travis: Yes... okay, I did. They call out to you! HOW CAN YOU BLAME ME?!!

Dayn: ... yeah, they do have some strange allure...

*In the boilerplate sign factory*

Bossguy: PUT MORE SHINY IN IT! THEY MUST GLEAM!

Workers: Yes sirrrrrrrrrrrrrr @.@ *stare at their signs as they work on them*

Bossguy: *turns to dwarf* You got the goods?

Dwarf: *wearing sunglasses* Yeah... here's 20 kilos.

Bossguy: Excellent... people cannot resist goldonium, the most hypnotic element in the known universe!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAJHAHAHAHAAHGJHJAGGUAGUUGUGUGUGUUGAUGUHAHHAHQQHUQAUAA!!

Dwarf: O_o

Bossguy: Yeah, I know... but all the other unique laughs were taken >_>

*back with our heroes*

Dayn: Anyway. Tower of Eternal Flames should be our ultimate goal for now, but we'll likely need special equipment to get in there. I know it's obvious, but that place looks way too hot for someone to survive unshielded. In the meantime, I'm going to check out a cave near Terinyo that I haven't explored yet, maybe there's something inside that could help.

Travis: Good plan, fighterguy.

Dayn: Well, let's go. Make sure to eat plenty of treemilk and cheerios ^.^

Travis: Erm... right. I'll make sure. I wish I could tell you to take care, but I hate everything, so meh.

*later*

Dayn: A going to the cave we will goooooooooooo. Hi ho the workio to the cavio we will fall. Wait... what? Ah well, here we are.

Sign: Welcome to the Small Cave, the smallest place you will ever visit! Proudly since an unknown period, "You feel as if you should not stay here very long." Population: Who the hell knows? If we told you, that would ruin the mystery! Proud home of a waterproof blanket and an ancient system of special tunnels.

Dayn: That boilerplate sign company must be either insane or multibillionares. Oh well, here we go.

*Dayn steps inside*

Ants: SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Dayn: ....................... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *runs away screaming from the tide of ants, which quickly pursue him*

*meanwhile*

Travis: Hm. So this is the tower of eternal flames. Looks... hot. To say the least.

Adventurer: You're telling me. *is on fire, skin is melting off him*

Travis: ... um, doesn't that hurt?

Adventurer: Oh, unbelievably.

Travis: ...

Adventurer: Oh, excuse me. Must die. *dies* X_X

Travis: ... okayyyyyyyyy. I'm definitely not thinking that this mission is off to a good start. Regardless, let us proceed to recon the base of the tower.

*ten seconds later*

Travis: *is on fire* ... okay, note to self. Tower is so hot that stuff burns instantly around it's base. Recon from larger distance. Also put self out. And scream with agony.

*back with Dayn*

Dayn: Well. I always thought this was going to be how it would end. *is backed into a corner as ants slowly advance towards him*

Ants: SKREE!! (MURDER! KILL THE DEFILER!) *advance more*

Dayn: Cornered and killed by the bane of my existance. Ants. If only... *moves foot a little*

*KA-CHUNK*

Dayn: Huh?!

*wall flips over, taking Dayn with it and out of sight*

Dayn: AHHHHHHHHH-*slam*

Ants: ... skree?

Ant 1: O_O SKREEEEE! (The demon knows magic! AHHHHHHHHHH!)

Ant 2: (Okay, okay, keep your heads people.)

Ant 3: (WE ARE ALL DOOMED!)

Ant 4: (SHUT UP AND FOLLOW HIM! WE MUST DIG!) *runs headlong into the wall and explodes in a variety of guts*

Ants: O_o skree?

*on the other side of the wall*

Dayn: ... ow... damn secret passages. Where the hell am I n...

*Dayn notices he is in a brightly lit chamber filled from floor-to-ceiling with potions of blindness and deafness*

Dayn: ............ oh hell yes. HELL YES! Finally... FINALLY! MY REVENGE IS AT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *runs forward*

*back with Travis*

Travis: Okay, I've thrown several dwarves at the entrance to the Tower of Eternal Flames.

...

Travis: The results were... less than encouraging, I think I'm never going to forget how cooked Dwarf smells... really, really awful.

...

Travis: I wonder if Trolls are fireproof. LET US PROCEED TO EXPERIMENT!


Travis is evil, isn't he? Yeah, he's evil. Really, really evil. And Dayn is insane. Really, really insane. Or is he multiple-personalitied? IS HE JUST DUMB?!! How the hell do we know what to ask at the end of every episode?! ARE THE ANTS DOOMED?! ARE THE TROLLS DOOMED?!! AM I GOING OVERBOARD YET?!! HAVE I ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS?!! ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO SHOOT ME IF I ASK ONE MORE QUESTION?!! Alright, fine. Find out next time in Episode XXII: Barbecues and Small Cave Mayhem!

© 2006 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir