Chapter 23: Remarkably Unremarkable.

Travis: Hmm, this cave is remarkably unremarkable... or is it unremarkably remarkable?

Wall: Unremarkably remarkable. I think that fits given the fact that around the corner here you have all the forging equipment a dwarf has in a wet dream.

Travis: ....... moving on.

*Later, one corner-turn later... later*

Travis: Holy crap, that wall that doesn't exist was right! TONS OF FORGING STUFF! A pity I'm not a smith.

Wall: f*** you, I do too!

Travis: No you don't, you're a hallucenation brought on by consuming copious amounts of treemilk. Vile stuff. Now go away.

Wall: BUT I'M TALKING TO YOU!

Travis: F*** OFF!

*wall disappears*

Travis: ooh, cool a secret passage BEHIND the nonexistant wall. Wait, wouldn't that make it an imaginary doorframe? Or a NONimaginary doorframe?! ... nevermind, let's just see what's at the end of this long passage of unremarkableness.

*lets goto dayn before your heads explode*

Dayn: *inside Pyramid* OH MY GOD, A WEREJACKAL!

Jackalwere: I'M A JACKALWERE DAMMIT!

Dayn: Do you hate or like ants?

Jackalwere: I'm indifferent... I never ever went out of this pyramid, so how would I even know what they're like?

Dayn: THEN YOU MUST DIE!

Jackalwere: >_> Laaaaaaaaa. Ah, good, my singing voice is still... good.

Dayn: What are you talking ab... o... - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Jackalwere: Gotta love that. Oh well. LET US LINEDANCE, JACKAL BROTHERS!

Jackals: AYE!

*Jackals, Jackalweres, and a Jackal Demon all linedance*

*Okay, maybe we'd be better off with Travis*

Travis: HOLY CRAP, MORE UNREMARKABLENESS EXCEPT FOR THIS HONEYLIKE FLUID ON THE FLOOR. Oh my holy Ssraxx... AND A DOOR LEADING INTO AN UNDERGROUND CAR-SHOW COMPLEX!

Salesman: WELCOOOOOOOOOOOME! TO CRAZY CAR UNREMARKABLE CARS DEPOT OF UNREMARKABLENESS!

*Travis has a seizure from all the flashing lights*

Salesman: OUR LATEST MODEL COMES WITH AUTOCOMBUSTION BY MEANS OF AN ANALOGUE HIGH-TECH ENTRY KEY, TEN-FOUR-STROKE COMPRESSION INJECTION HYDRAULICS, AND HIGH-POWER ELECTROMICROSCOPIC REDUNDANT POWER STORAGE DEVICE!

Travis: *recovers* So you're saying it has an ignition with car keys, a ten-cylynder engine, and a battery?

Salesman: Well, yes, but you obviously don't know much about redundant power sto-

Travis: IT'S A BLOODY CAR! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY BATTERIES YOU HAVE, UNLESS IT RUNS OFF ELECTRICITY THE CAR STILL STOPS WHEN IT RUNS OUT OF GAS!

Salesman: Yes, bu-

Travis: Nevermind. How fast does it go?

Salesman: About 600 miles per hour!

Travis: You're lying arent you?

Salesman: Of course, I'm in sales!

*We read the BOFH way too much, back to Dayn*

Dayn: Damn, still dancing...

*the jackals continue to do a polka-linedance*

Dayn: Well, I'm outta here. With luck they'll be so busy linedancing that they won't notice me.

*Jackals begin dancing to Macho Man by The Village People*

Dayn: LEAVING NOW! *ZIP*

Jackals: Macho macho man. I want to be a macho man!

Jackal: *in high tone* MACHO MAN!

*later*

Dayn: Okay, well. *dodges an explosive trap and water trap that cancel each other out* This place is almost gold-plated in places. Like something from Egypt or something. Wait, isn't this Ancardia? Ah well. *dodges a falling stone that once again crushes Jerrica* ONWARDS TO FIND OUT WHAT'S AT THE TOP!

Jerrica: Hey! I'm still alive! Luckily it was just my foo- *SMASH!*

Dayn: ... moving on.

Jackals: *distantly* Livin la vida loca!

Dayn: REALLY FAST! *ZIP! AGAIN!*

*back with Travis*

Travis: *sneakily stuffing car salesman corpse into dumpster* Moron. Wait, what's a dumpster doing in a dungeon?!

Rat: Don't question it. This place is weird enough.

Travis: oka... I did not hear that rat just talk.

Rat: Yes you did. *explodes*

Travis: I. DID. NOT. *is holding staff in the former direction of the former rat* Anyway. Get down there, you hole-filled corpse. *kick kick* I wonder how Dayn's doing. Ah well, probably murdering more ants and dancing with joy.

*back in the pyramid*

Jackals: MOSKAAAAAAU! CITY OF MYSTERY!

Dayn: How the f*** did you guys get up here?!

Jackalwere: Oh, you're just going around in circles. The trap-filled staircase leading to the next level is over there. Now, back to dancing!

Jackals: Young man...

Dayn: OH HELL NO! *runs*

*many traps are heard going off*

Jackals: Y-M-C-A!


Will the jackals ever stop linedancing?! Will Travis... okay, you know, I'm tired of questions. Leave me to get back to my coffee! I likes it with a dash of treemilk T_T Anyway, tune in next time for Chapter XXIV: Dance Dance Jackal Revolution!

© 2006 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir