Chapter 32: INFORMATION OVERLOAD!

Travis: Well, two dungeon levels later and we still haven't found the librar-

...

Travis: Oh, there it is.

Jerrica: Told you.

Ghost Librarian: NO TALKING!

Travis: ... *ears explode*

Jerrica: Dammit, we should have brought Potions of Inner Ear Repair.

Ghost Librarian: I SAID NO TALKING!

Jerrica: X_x

*Meanwhile*

Dayn: Zzzzzzzz

Dutchess: We gorged him with large rations, he should be asleep for a while.

Hawkslayer: o.O indeed

Mad Minstrel: Ah, so, my friends, you are part of a quest to save Ancardia, are you not? In that case, you will need to recover the Elemental Orb of Fire... which is in the Tower of Eternal Flames. On the planes near the Caverns of Chaos, it is a tower that is eternally alight and will sear your flesh from your bones if you are not prepared...

Hawkslayer: 0_o I think I remember Travis saying something about that...

*flashback*

Travis: TROLLS AREN'T FIREPROOF! =D =D =D =D

*pointless end of pointless flashback*

Mad Minstrel: Sounds like your friend is nucking futs.

Dutchess: Huh?

Mad Minstrel: Nevermind. Okay, so... first, you will need to reunite with your friends. I have it on a reliable source that your friend Travis landed near a location known as the Rift, below which is a gigantic library, probably why he went down there. Link up with him, and return to me... by that time, I will have found a way to get you into the tower unscathed to recover the orb of fire. Many others have tried and failed... but I have a good feeling about your group.

Dutchess: Let's just hope it lasts. Alright, where is this rift?

*back with Travis*

Travis: ...!

Jerrica: ...

Travis: .............

Jerrica: ......?

Travis: (We have got to figure out a better way to communicate...)

*back with Dayn and Dutchess and Hawksplayer... errr, slayer*

Dayn: Okay. Let me stab the Mad Minstrel first though. Just once, please!

Dutchess: No. *drags Dayn off*

Dayn: I JUST WANT TO POKE HIM WITH MY SWORD FOR ALL THE AGONY HE'S CAUSED ME! HOW IS THAT NOT FAIR?! PLEASE! JUST ONE STAB! OOOOOOONE! *sob*

Mad Minstrel: They don't call me the "Mad" minstrel because I'm mad... I'm just able to make others go mad. :D

Dayn: THATS NOT FAIR!!!!!

Mad Minstrel: Oh, I know.

*Back with Travis*

Travis: (Okay, this should let us communicate.)

Jerrica: (Whoa. Cool. My words are all echoy.)

Travis: (Yeah. Hey, look, this bookcase is filled with...)

*Hallelujah chorus*

Ghost Librarian: I SAID NO TALKING!

Travis: O_o

Jerrica: o_O

Chorus: Sorry...

Travis: (Anyway. HOLY CRAP, THERE MUST BE EVERY DOOM SPELL IN EXISTANCE HERE! I LOVE YOU!)

Jerrica: (Whatever. Just... GET OFF MY LEG!)

*back with Dayn*

Dayn: Well, we've made good time. We should be there in just a few minutes. Wonder how Travis is making out.

Dutchess: And hopefully we can get all of this crazy crap sorted out once we link up with him.

Hawkslayer: o_O Indeed, Ancardia cannot take this much longer.

Dayn: Oh, hey, a giant pit AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Dutchess: ... figures. He's the one who FALLS into the rift.

Dayn: I'M OKAY! I JUST FELL ONE HUNDRED FEET AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING IS BROKEN, BUT I'M OKAY!

Hawkslayer: 0.o

Dayn: I ROLLED THE DIE, TIS ONLY A FLESH WOUND!

*Further down the rift*

Monsters: YAR!

Ghost Librarian: *murders monsters with a gigantic axe*

Travis: @.@ *is feverently studying Spellbook of Improved Fireball*

Jerrica: @.@ *is feverently studying Spellbook of Cure Serious Wounds*

*further up the rift*

Dayn: Ow.

Dutchess: Okay, you're fine... for now. Hawkslayer, you take the front, Dayn goes in the middle, I'll watch the back until he can walk straight.

Hawkslayer: o.O okay

*Much walking in circles later*

Dayn: I don't think we're getting anywhere.

Hawkslayer: o.O Ya think?

Travis: BOO!

Dayn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *clings to the ceiling shaking*

Jerrica: o.o

Travis: ^_^ I'M THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD IN EXISTANCE! *is clutching pretty much every spellbook in existance to his chest*

Hawkslayer: o.O Good to see you again. Why are your knees buckling?

Travis: I KNOW ENOUGH DOOM SPELLS TO BLOW UP THE WORLD MANY MANY TIMES! Also, my legs are about to collapse like popsicle sticks under all the weight I'm carrying.

Jerrica: Who the hell _are_ you people?!

*Much introduction and weight-spreading and talking about doom spells later*

Dayn: So...

*echo*

Dayn: ... anybody thought of how we're gonna get back up the rift?

...

All: Crap.

Rift Cliff: Haha! I win again! *is smashed by falling dynamite*

Dynamite: BOOM! *conveniently creates a staircase*

Dayn: That works.

Everybody: o.O

Hawkslayer: My word. 0_0

*later*

Travis: Yeah, that tower is a bitch. The Mad Minstrel guy you met probably hasn't finished the preparations yet... so why don't we see if there's anything Thrundarr needs us to do while we're waiting? Could give us a chance to prepare.

Jerrica: Good idea. Only... who the hell is Thrundarr?

Dayn: She needs a lot of catching-up.

Travis: Yup.

Dutchess: <_< I ain't doing it.

Hawkslayer: o_O I only remet Travis under a week ago!

Travis: And my mind is too burdened with all my doomish knowledge... ^^

Dayn: ... crap. Okay, it's a loooooong story that involved MANY large rations, giant ant ninjas, and little puppies that I definitely didn't accidentally murder in cold blood...

Jerrica: ...

*later*

Travis: DOOMISH KNOWLEDGE =D =D =D =D

Dayn: GOD, WE KNOW ALREADY! YOU'RE ALL-POWERFUL! SHUT UP!

Travis: =D

Dayn: Gaaaaaaaaah.

Big Room: RAWR!

Travis: *DOOM SPELL*

Big Room: X_X

Travis: Ha.

Everybody else: Holy crap.

*even later, much decendage*

Thrundarr: FINALLY! YE HAVE RETURNED! And I see you have brought many other adventurers to help you! This is indeed a good sign! NOW DO SOMETHING FOR ME! GET MY TEA OR JUST AVENGE THE SPIRIT OF THAT DAMNED IDIOT BLOODAXE!

Dayn: ... okay?

*much ascendage and travelage southage later...age*

Dayn: Okay, so where is this damned graveyard?

Travis: He said it should only be a mile further sou-DOOM SPELLS! =D

Dayn: ... what I wouldn't give for this trip to be just five seconds shorter.

Dutchess: Seconded...

Travis: DOOOOOM SPELLLLLS! =D

Jerrica: HEAAAAAAAAALING SPELLLLLSSSS! =D

Dayn: >_> I'm surrounded by nuts.

*acorn falls on Dayn's head*

Dayn: *staggers* Oh, the irony.

Dutchess: Do I count?

Dayn: You're more of a dog.

Dutchess: Awww.

*later*

Graveyard: Ominous musiiiiiiiiiiiiiic...

Hawkslayer: o_O this place is creepy

Jerrica: Indeed. o.o

Dayn: COURAGE, MY COMPATRIOTS! *lifts Golden Gladius* WE SHALL FLY TOWARDS THE SOURCE OF THIS EVIL AND AVENGE THE SPIRIT OF THE DEAD DWARF AND SLAY THAT EVIL NECROMANCER!

Everybody: HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shattered, shambling, utterly puny zombie: Boo.

Dayn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *hides behind a tombstone sobbing*


Will Dayn learn not to be afraid of Undead in time? What will happen to the spirit of Bloodaxe? Will Travis destroy the graveyard with all his doomspells? (very possibly) Will Hawkslayer ever acutally slay a hawk? Who anthropomorphosized the graveyard in the first place? Find out next time in Chapter XXXIII: What do you want on YOUR dwarven tombstone?

© 2007 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir