Chapter 35: Nonnak Falls Down Some Stairs.

Previously on ADOI!

Dayn: .... *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* ....

Bloodaxe: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!

Jerrica: Such language.

Now, on Adoi!

Dayn: *slice, slice, slice* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Bloodaxe: *ker-POUND*

Dayn: *is knocked into next week*

Jerrica: F***!

Hawkslayer: O.O EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

One week later, on ADOI!

Dayn: AHHHHH! *crash*

Bloodaxe: >_> *ker-POUND*

Dayn: *Is knocked into last week*

Presently, on ADOI!

Dayn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! *slam* F***, this isn't working very well.

Jerrica: Holy crap, he temporally displaced. Hey, Travis is moving now! *ker-ninjas the advancing hordes of undead as Nonnak begins casting Magic Missiles*

Dayn: *dodge, dodge, tink*

Bloodaxe: RAAAAAAAAAGH!

Dayn: DAMMIT, I'M ONLY MAKING HIM MADDER! There isn't gonna be enough of me left to fill a flask of holy water... wait...

*in Travis' mind*

Black Mage: You almost have it... but now we must teach you how to face one of the most important things.

Travis: And that is? *plays around with sorcerer-powers*

Black Mage: Fear.

*Travis is shown a single frame of bloodaxe out of nowhere*

Travis: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *faints*

Black Mage: ... yeah, you need a lot of improvement there.

*back in the real-ish world... ish*

Hawkslayer: I GOT THE SMALL ONES! JERRICA, DAYN, YOU GET THE BIG ONES! *ker-SWORD*

Dayn: JERRICA! DISTRACT HIM! I'M GOING FOR THE GRAVE! *rips out flask of holy water like a grenade and throws it into the zombie horde, causing much of them to melt, then dashes towards Bloodaxe's grave in the distance*

Bloodaxe: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRGH! *ker-axe*

Dayn: *ker-dodge* AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Bloodaxe: *chases Dayn*

Dayn: *runs for dear life* >_> Why did I have to pick the group that would end up with me in something like a Looney Tunes cartoon? *dodge* YEEP!

Bloodaxe: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Zombies: *take out pompoms and begin doing cheerleading routines* Bloodaxe, bloodaxe, lays down a heck of a lot of smacks! GOOOOO BLOODAXE!

Hawkslayer: >.O DIE! DIE! DIE! *cleave*

Zombies: X_X

Jerrica: *jumps up on Bloodaxe's shoulders and covers his eyes* GUESS WHO, MOTHAF***A!

Zombie: SHE SAID A BAD WORD!

Bloodaxe: RAAAAAAAWGH! *staggers, falls down*

Nonnak: YOU BLUNDERING OAF! GET UP! GET UP!

Bloodaxe: BUT SHE'S HEAVY! SHE NEEDS TO LOSE WEIGHT!

Jerrica: *hurls scalpel at Nonnak*

Nonnak: Yeep! *ducks*

*back in the pit of eternal torment otherwise known as Demi-hell, aka Travis' mind*

Travis: *staaaaaaaaare*

Bloodaxe-image: *staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

Travis: *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE*

Bloodaxe-image: EEEEEEK! *shatters*

Travis: O_O WOOHOO!

Black Mage: Impressive. Good job. I would like to further refine your techniques, but for now... you're done. Mostly because your friends are really, _really_ badly in need of your help.

Travis: Nah, let them die.

Black Mage: Go on, fearless sorcerer, and help your paladin friend.

Travis: Dammit... evil... side... wrestling... with... not-as-evil-but-still-pretty-evil side... self-narration... becoming... acute! AGH! DAMN YOU, CONSIENCE!

Black Mage: >_> f*** this! Even Fighter is better than spending time with this looney, though I think I will sorely regret ever saying that. Bye, Travis. Remember what I taught you.

Travis: Dear God, I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, DAYN!

*KA-FLASH*

*back in reality*

Dayn: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *smashes holy water on Bloodaxe's tombstone*

Bloodaxe: HORORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWGH! *explodes*

Sign: You feel a great sense of relief.

Dayn: Thanks for the tip, sign. Ahhh. The sweet sound of a job well done. Rest well, Dwarven hero.

Nonnak: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *slams his sword into the wal behind Dayn, just missing* YOU MIGHT HAVE TAKEN DOWN MY BEST WARRIOR, BUT YOU WON'T LIVE TO TELL THAT OLD FOOL!

Dayn: *ka-parry* Just try it! *slice*

Nonnak: RAAAAAAAAAAGH! *charge*

Hawkslayer: o.o oh my *is swarmed by zombies*

Jerrica: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *is trying to rescue her leg from a mutilated corpse fiend*

*outside*

Dutchess: They'll all be dead soon >_> I knew it was never a good idea to guard the entrance anyway. But no, they said, I'll get Pedigree milkbones if I do! SON OF MY MOTHER! *is holding off a hundred zombie warriors via bites, growls, and general dog ass-kickage*

Cat: Mrow!

Dutches: CAT! *chases after it, leaving the entrance open* DAMN YOU DOG INSTINCTS!

Zombies: Yay?

*back inside*

Travis: x.x

Travis: x.o

Travis: O_O

*KA-SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM*

Zombies: ERK! *disintegrate*

Dayn: *parry, parry, parry* CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

Nonnak: *slice, slice, slice* HA! HA! HA! WHA?

Jerrica: O_o

Hawkslayer: @_@ MY EYES!

Travis: YOU SON OF A MOTHER*BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*, COLLAPSE THE TUNNELS ON ME WILL YA?!

Jerrica: Uh, but Dayn is the one that knocked you out inadverdently...

Hawkslayer: o.o don't tell him that!

Travis: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *slams into Nonnak and blasts him with a firebolt, causing him to stagger backwards*

Dayn: HARGH! *ker-PALADIN-KICK!*

Nonnak: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *falls down a nearby stairwell*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

*thud*

...

Dayn: Nice going.

Travis: Thanks.

Nonnak: MY LEG IS BROKEN! NEVERTHELESS, I WILL ATTEMPT TO STAND ON IT!

*ker-CRUNCH*

Dayn: O_o

Nonnak: BAD IDEA! *thud* THE BONE HAS PIERCED THE SKIN!

Dayn: What do you say we leave him there to rot?

Travis: Better idea. Let's bring him up and drown him in holy water.

Dayn: I like your ideas and wish to learn more... wait... holy water? I thought you were chaotic.

Travis: ... that's right, I-

*in Travis' mind*

*KER-FLASH*

Travis: Oh God, not this again! I'm chaotic, I'm chaotic, I'm chaotic, DON'T LISTEN TO CONSCIENCE, DON'T LISTEN TO CONSCIENCE, DON'T LISTEN TO CONSIENCE, MURDER DAYN, MURDER DAYN, DO IT RIGHT HERE, KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!

*outside Travis' mind*

Travis: -'m just feeling a bout out of it today. What do you say we go and roast him alive over a fire? Slowly.

Dayn: *sigh* Travis, you never change.

Travis: So you think, Dayn, so you think. *grumble*

Dayn: What?

Travis: Nothing, nevermind.

Zombies: Ahem.

Dayn: Crap. They got past Dutchess.

Travis: No problem. I'll handle this.

Dayn: Sorry, can't let you do that. *raises sword* Let's FLAY EM!

Travis: ... yeah, let's! *SLAM*

Hawkslayer: o.o I don't think I'll ever understand those two.

Jerrica: Since when can anyone?


Will Travis ever manage to win out over his utter evil...ality and actually kill Dayn? Or are these two misaligned heroes just becoming too close of friends? With new powers gained and many lessons learned, along with much hilarity and overdrama on the way, our heroes head out to report their success to Thrundarr, and then brave the Tower of Eternal Flames. What will they find there? Find out next time in Episode XXXVI: If QUEST = 2, Thrundarr = Windbag

Nonnak: YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME! Could somebody throw down some antibiotic cream... please? Or you know, a splint? Or... some food?

...

Nonnak: God, you zombies are useless.

© 2007 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir