Chapter 42: ADOI Pilgrimage; Jipostus' Arrival
And now, something different.
ADOI: Pilgrimage
Part 1: Jipostus's Arrival
*At the entrance of Drakalor Chain*
Jipostus: Finally, I made it this far... still, I think i'm lost...
Sign: WELCOME TO TERINYO! Population... 80 (and 1 dog), possibly fluctuating randomly depending on the visiting status of raiders or bloodthirsty adventurers such as yourself.
Jipostus: YAY! Civilisation ^_^
*Terinyo entrage*
Jipostus: HAY GUYS!
Rynt: SHUT UP! I'm trying to sleep here!
Jipostus: Umm... the sun's still up?
Rynt: Oh, SHUT UP! *goes to sleep*
Jipostus: well, might as well wait.
*Waits for 8 hours*
Jipostus: Dammit! WAKE UP, OLD *********************!
Rynt: WHATTA HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!
Jipostus: I WANT A QUEST, THAT'S ALL!
Rynt: You're too late, all my quests have been done.
Jipostus: WHAAAAAAAA?!
Rynt: Yes, they were done by one fighter, who came here... well, a long time ago.
Jipostus: Crap...
Rynt: Satisfied? Now, get the HELL OUTTA HERE!!
*after leaving terinyo*
Jipostus: That was... odd... ALL QUESTS DONE?! Well, might as well go to that cave...
*enters small cave*
Goblin: YARRRRR!
Jipostus: Are you a pirate or something?
Goblin: Well, last saturday I was in a Goblin orgy...
Jipostus: Ewww... I don't wanna know...
Goblin: Awww... the best part is just coming up.
Jipostus: DIEEEE!
*goblin killage later*
Jipostus: That did hurt... *holds his fist* why I ever decided to be a monk... I didn't even get any money.
*After killing a few creatures in the small cave*
Jipostus: I has... 12gp... I'M RICH!
Mugger: Not for long...
*steals money*
Jipostus: YOU SON OF A BIT**! GET OVER HERE AND DIEEEE!
*starts chasing mugger*
Mugger: Why do I always get these lunatics after me!?
Jipostus: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Mugger: Crap, dead end...
Jipostus: Now... DIEEEE!
*mugger slaughterage later*
Mugger: x_X
Jipostus: My prreciousssss...*holds 12gp* hey, he dropped this money belt... YAY! My money is safe now! ^_^
*steps on explosion trap, causing money belt to burn*
Jipostus: Auch! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My money belt... *sniff* Well, at least I'm alive...
Stone golem: BURARUM!
Jipostus: o_O I'm outta here!
*Small cave fleeage later*
Jipostus: Phew... that was close... now then, where to...
*Gets ambushed by jackals*
Jipostus: crap...
Jackal: now, we'll use 3-2-4-8-circle tactics!
Jipostus: Doublecrap... wait, that is not any kind of tactic. And how come you can speak? o_O
Jackals: DIEEE!
Jipostus: HEY! I'M THE ONE WHOT SAYS THAT! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*after long, very long battle*
Jackal: Okay, it's just you and me...
Jipostus: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Jackal: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*Jackal slayage later*
Jipostus: I...can't...take...this...for...long...
*Eats jackal corpses until bloated*
Jipostus: Healing tactics!
*Waits until he's healed*
Jipostus: Seems to work... but now what... I'm not going to back there...
*searches next place to go into*
Jipostus: Hey, this looks like... a cave? Okay, I'm going to lose my mind...
*elsewhere*
Istaria: *This new one... he seems... odd...*
Ssraxx: *Don't look at me!*
Onn: *He's just retarded.*
Ssraxx: *Yes... *hides his evil grin**
*At Caverns of Chaos*
Jipostus: This place... looks... a bit... destroyed? Whatta hell has happened here?
*after descendage of few levels*
Jipostus: I smell... Blood.
...
Jipostus: Arena?!
Arena Master: Who the hell are you?
Jipostus: I'm Jipostus...
Arena Master: That's an odd name, well, if you... crap, I forgot, arena is closed.
Jipostus: What?
Arena Master: Yes... That fighter and wizard almost destroyed the whole place...
Jipostus: ... Why does it seem that I'm always late from everything...
Arena Master: You just have bad luck. Anyhow, buy some food from vendors.
Jipostus: Okay.
Ratling trader: Want to buy some fried bat for a meager 4gp?
Jipostus: 10, please.
Ratling trader: I have only 3 left... here ya go!
Jipostus: ...*sigh*
*descendage later*
Jipostus: WHY IS EVERYTHING DONE, DESTROYED, OR JUST RETARDED?! I HATE THIS CRAP!!
*kicks staircase, and almost breaks leg*
Jipostus: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...*bounces with one feet*
*waits for while*
Jipostus: Leg seems better now... well, I should go downstairs...
...
Jipostus: Whoa, what a big room.
Several monsters: GRRRRR...
Jipostus: crap...
Monsters: DIEEEE!
Jipostus: Why even bother...
*kicks hyena, causing troll behind it to trample, which falls on goblin rockthrower, whose rock flies to fire vortex, which causes explosion, causing other vortex's around it to explode, killing all monsters, leaving Jipostus unharmed*
Jipostus: WTFUDGE just happened?! Oh well, don't care... got alot of experience from that ^_^
*descending*
Jipostus: Let's give it a shot *kicks wall, causing it to fall down* WHOA!, did I do that?
*kicks down lots of walls*
Jipostus: YAY! I don't care about those bad things that have happened to me... I CAN KICK WALLS!! MY LIVE HAS NEW MEANING!!!
*elsewhere*
Onn: **sigh* He has lost his mind completely...*
Ssraxx: *So it seems *Evil grin*
Istaria: *I can only guess what has happened... *sigh**
Ssraxx: *Yes... he's mine now! MUAHA*
Istaria: *that explains... a lot...*
Onn: *indeed...*
Who the heck is this Jipostus? Where is he from, what he's doing there (if we don't count kicking down walls), And what the heck has Ssraxx planned for him? AND WTF AM I BABBLING ABOUT? *implodes*
Writer 1: He's not coming back, I believe.
Writer 2: I have an odd feeling about this...
© 2007 Jipostus