Chapter 45: ADOI Pilgrimage; Death from Above?
ADOI: Pilgrimage
Part 3: Death from above?
*At Caverns of Chaos*
Jipostus: I've been kicking walls... For a long time... I think that I need a break...
Kobold: DIEE!
*Kobold murderage later*
Jipostus: I surely need a break... I'll return to Dwarftown...
*Ascends 3 floors, all totally busted*
Jipostus: And all I got from this is... 32 gems, 1 crystal of fire and 2 crystals of knowledge... Shit! I missed a spot
*Notes wall*
Jipostus: TIME FOR KICKING!!
*Wall starts to move*
Jipostus: WTF! Did that wall just move, or am I REALLY tired?
Living wall: I did move.
Jipostus: OMFG! Living wall has come for revenge!
Living wall: Actully, no, I just want to kill you otherwise.
Jipostus: Oh... That... CHANGES NOTHING!
*Rushes to staircase*
Living wall: WAIT!
Jipostus: HELL NO! I'M OUTTA HERE! *Ascends*
Living wall: Aww... Now there isn't anyone to play with me... *sniff*
Goblin: I'm here
*Living wall crushes goblin*
Goblin: x_x
Living wall: NOW there isn't anyone to play with me... *sniff*
*In Dwarftown*
Jipostus: Geez... That was close...
Waldenbrook: OH SHIT! OKAY! STORE CLOSED!
Dwarves in store: Aww... *goes away*
Waldenbrook: AND YOU, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SELL YOUR STUFF! *Slams door*
Jipostus: Tsk, fine... Umm... Since when there has been a door?
Waldenbrook: *Opens door* SINCE I CREATED ONE WITH WAND OF DOOR CREATION! *Slams door*
Jipostus: ...But now what? If I go upstairs, there are bunch of golems, and if I go downstairs, there is that creepy living wall...
*Starts to meditate*
Jipostus: Where to? Upstairs, or downstairs?
Strange voice: Downstairs thou shall go, and face your destiny...
*Suddenly wakes up*
Jipostus: WHO WAS THAT?!
Dwarves: SHUT UP ALREADY!!
Jipostus: Okay... That strange voice told me to go downstairs... To face my "destiny"? What the hell does that mean... But I should go down... and try to avoid that creepy wall...
*Descendage*
Living wall: Greetings, adventurer!
Jipostus: STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Living wall: That's not nice, you know.
Jipostus: SO?!
Living wall: You're being rude to me...
Jipostus: You're a living wall, and I fear your kind of monsters.
Living wall: Monster? You think I'm monster? You're so dead now...
Jipostus: Crap!
*Living wall approaches Jipostus, and charges at him*
Jipostus: SHIT! *dodges barely*
Living wall: NO ESCAPE!
Jipostus: Okay, let's have it you're way, then.
Living wall: DIEEE!
*Jipostus kicks Living wall while living wall charges at him, causing both to fly several feet away*
Jipostus: Auch! That'll leave a mark...
Living wall: DIEE!
Jipostus: Geez, that wall has problems...
*Living wall charges, and Jipostus crashes to wall behind him*
Jipostus: AGH! That hurt!
Living wall: Now... Face your DOOM!
Jipostus: No, I can't die like this...
Living wall: DIE!
*Living wall charges again, but Jipostus dodges, and kicks living wall * *Sound of chains*
Jipostus: I can't win this fight... Wait, did I hear chains?
???: CUT! STOP THIS NONSENSE!
Living wall?: Hmph...
Jipostus: WHATTA FUCK IS ALL THIS?!
???: THIS IS MY MOVIE SET, JERK!
Jipostus: Movie set?!
???: YES! MOVIE SET!
Jipostus: Whatta heck is movie set?
???: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
Jipostus: I could ask you the same.
???: I'm Director.
Jipostus: Direchtor? That's an odd name...
Director: THAT'S MY PROFESSION, JERK! NOW ANSWER!
Jipostus: I'm Jipostus, a monk who came to Drakalor's chain...
Director: Drakalor's chain? You're totally lost... This is our hidden movie set in Ancardia, not a Dracalor's chain!
Jipostus: WTF?!
Director: Yes... This is just set up for our new movie, NOW, would you please go away?
Jipostus: ...Could you tell me where is the Drakalors chain then?
Director: Igor, catapult that freak to there.
Igor: Yesh, master...
Jipostus: Umm... WTF?!
*Graps Jipostus, carries him to catapult, and starts aiming*
Jipostus: WTF are you doing?
Igor: Just what master told me...
Director: FIRE!
Igor: Yesh, master!
*Fires catapult*
Jipostus: WHAAAA*Crash*aaAAAAAAAA*Crash*aAAAaaaaaaaaaa*Crash*aaa...
*Flies through few roofs, disappears to sky*
Director: Someone fix those roofs, and then, back to where we were...
*On way to Drakalors chain?*
Jipostus: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
*Crashes to mountain*
Jipostus: Owwww... Ahh... Now... Where... The fuck am I... Shit... *Dies*
*Elsewhere*
Onn: Now then... Now we get rid of Ssraxx's "toy", we could undo everything he did in Dracalors chain...
Istaria: Don't worry Ssraxx, we'll release you soon...
Ssraxx: *Tries to get out of chains* DAMN YOU TWO!
Onn: Just shut up, you were taking that too far, so we had to do something.
Istaria: That was just for... the future of Ancardia we planned... remember?
Ssraxx: Tsk, fine... *mumbles*
Onn: Everything is restored now... You can release Ssraxx now...
Istaria: Okay.
Ssraxx: Finally... now what?
Onn: Poker?
Istaria: Okay!
Ssraxx: Fine... Your deal, lawboy.
Onn: Okay.
...
Announcer: Jipostus's body was frozen, and covered in snow... No one would ever find his body... Unless...
*Few days later*
Yeti: RaWrR... mEaT...
THE END
Writer 1: Finally, it's over...
Writer 2: Yea...
Jipostus: YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!!
Writers: Aww... Shit!
Jipostus: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, BEFORE I STAPLE YOU FROM YOUR BALLS TO CLOSEST PINETREE!!
Writers: O_O *Runs away*
Jipostus: Finally those jerks left... *sigh*
© 2007 Jipostus