Chapter 56: Slot Machines, Ka-chings, and Bling!

Dayn: Okay, we're surrounded...

Travis: We are screwed beyond belief.

Jerrica: How the hell did this happen?

Dayn: I blame the !@!$!ing dwarves and their crazy halls.

Travis: I blame Dwarves for everything.

*back in Dwarftown*

Thrundarr: DIE, ASSHOLES! *rooting for someone in the 01923th Dwarven wrestlingboxingkickswordfightingshieldaipofapihohaashirtlesscompetition* I wonder if those daft adventurers are dead yet.

*back with the cast*

Travis: Did you just have a strange feeling?

Dayn: Like the sudden, unexplained urge to murder a certain dwarf?

Akki: I get the urge to murder everything in situations like this! :D

Travis: I LOVE THIS KID!

Jerrica: WE SORT OF HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS HERE! *trying to ninja around 3 to 1053 goblin chief slavemaster rockthrower scorcher berserkers*

Travis: You're doing it wrong *ninjas around them*

Jerrica: Stop copying me.

Travis: *in Jerrica's voice* Stop copying me.

Dayn: *slicing through a row of skeletons* CUT IT OUT, YOU TWO!

Travis: Sorry. *slices through a row of... umm...*

Alpha: Ai ai ai ai ai!!! *slot machine*

*...animals from the Chinese Zodiac*

Travis: What the hell just happened there? O_o

Dayn: I DON'T KNOW! JUST FI-*falls into an elevator which promptly sucks Travis, several goblins, Jerrica, Dutchess, and Akki in before causing an explosion which kills all the other monsters.*

Travis: AUGH!

Goblins: GET YOUR LARDASS OFF ME!

Jerrica: LARD-ASS?! OH, THAT'S IT!

*a VERY cramped melee starts up in the elevator and doesn't end for the whole trip down*

*MUCH later*

*elevator opens, Jerrica, goblin corpses, Akki, Travis, and Dutchess all spill out*

Travis: Where's Dayn?

Dayn: *underneath the goblin corpses somewhere* A mistaken target of Jerrica's... *emerges bleeding severely*

Jerrica: That wasn't a mistake.

Dayn: OH, THAT'S IT! *charges for Jerrica, and smashes into a slot machine*

Slot machine: *spins* JACKPOT! *much gold pours out, crushing Dayn*

Travis: MONEY! PRAISE THAT AS-

Censorshipman: NOooo- Hey, slot machines! *sits down and starts playing* :D

Travis: Slawt Mushi'ngs?

Dayn: *emerges from the gold pile* They seem harmless and fun enough...

*2.pi days later*

Dayn: @_@ more

Travis: How fascinating. Put gold in, more gold comes out! :D:D:D:D

Akki: They seem boring. << *spies shop* O_O

*HALLELUJAH CHORUS*

Jerrica: NO CRACKER!@#!%!#!@%!ING WAY! *runs inside and starts scooping up armfuls of scalpels*

Shopkeeper: HELLO! WELCOME TO <demonic voice>THE CASINO GIFT SHOPPE! *echo* </demonic voice>

Dayn: *still staring at slot machine* @.@

Shopkeeper: 20 scalpels? That will be.... 100000000000 coins.

Jerrica: WHAAAAAAAAT!? *drops scalpels* THat is IT! We ArE LEAVING!

Dayn: But I don't wa- *pulled away by Jerrica* Just as I was saying, I think it is time to go.

Travis: Yeah, I agree. We've wasted too much time here.

Big Casino Guard: Puny people must spend all gold they win... <demonic voice> AND MORE*echo* </demonic voice> *blocks elevator*

Jerrica: What is with demonic voices here?

Dayn: Look, buddy, let us go, or die.

BCG: Puny man, threatening no smart...

*many casino guards are summoned in*

Dayn: As I was saying... We DO need to spend some money :D

Akki: Yes, I ag- LOOK A DISTRACTION!

BCG: Huh? *turns around*

Akki: *teleports the BCG out of the way* Let's go!

BCG: *appears behind Akki and pushes her away from the elevator* Me learn teleport control! Me no com... com... com...

Travis: Completely stupid?

BCG: Thank you. *summons more casino guards* You no buy stuff, then me and friends kill you. *swings sword at Travis*

Travis: *teleports out of the way* You missed, ya big ugly moron! :D

Dayn: Travis, provoking him probably isn't the best idea.

Travis: Doesn't matter, we have to kill him anyway.

Dayn: True that.

Travis: You guys take care of his little friends.

Dayn: Should be easy enough. *Stabs a Casino Guard in the chest*

Travis: Should be... *shoots the Rune Covered Trident from Sun's Messenger at the BCG*

BCG: *teleports out of the way and re-appears once the trident has passed* Ha! Me tellllll... teleport :D

Travis: Yes, very good. I apologize for calling you a moron.

BCG: You still d- *GAX* *dies*

Travis: You're a completely stupid moron. The Rune Covered Trident ALWAYS RETURNS, SUCKA! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *throws a rock at a slot machine causing tons of money to pour out and crush two Casino Guards*

Jerrica: O_O Wow...

Akki: Really O_O

Travis: I umm, didn't actually mean to do that...

Dayn: Not like it helped much anyway. These guys are cake.

Dutchess: *Running from a casino guard* THE CAKE IS A LIE!

Travis: *stabs the casin guard chasing Dutchess* Yeah, let's go.

Shopkeeper: Ye shall not leave. *Blocks elevator and throws coins at ludicrous speed*

Dayn: *dives behind slot machine* WE'RE UNDER HEAVY FIRE, REQUESTING BA-

Akki: GRRRRRRRRRRR! *begins beating Dayn relentlessly with the staff*

Travis: *hiding behind another slot machine with Jerrica* >_> Akki scares me...


How will our heroes defeat with the shopkeeper?? Will Akki ever stop beating Dayn with the staff? What the hell is with all the demonnc voices? And most importantly, why the hell do I keep asking retarded questions at the end of every chapter nobo- *gunshot*

© 2008 Travis Prue and Daniel Muir